The Light Beyond Bereavement Forum Bereavement StoreMovieBlogSympathy Ecards
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own...

Go Back   The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums > Loss of a loved one > Loss of a spouse or partner
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old December 28th, 2009, 10:06
Dianna Dianna is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chester U.K,
Posts: 3
Send a message via Yahoo to Dianna
Default Suriviour of Christmas


My mother died Oct 23rd this year.
Thats the fact what it does not say is that my best friend, confident and the only person who gave me uncondtional love all my life has gone.
She was a most remarkable woman indomitable spirit and always ready for the next adventure that life gave her, either with me or alone.
Always ready to join in trips to Snowdonia, our home as well as love. She knew all the mountains and their secret paths, places that the general public are unaware of. These she shared with me and many a happy meories live in that place.
Ok I know she was 96 and a half but that can be worse I had her around for the greater part of my life and the last 30 years have been fantastic. Recently whilst being physically frail and requiring a wheelchair for mobility she could still do the Times crosword in 6 hrs!!! and I didnt realise the fun that could be had with a wheelchair in a supermarket when both persons are ready for a laugh.
Thing is I have a hugh hole in my life that I donnt seem able to fill and its not getting any easier. People say I have to get over it...HOW? It will get easier WHEN? She was old YES I KNOW THAT but still miss her does age make any difference. The worst GET OVER IT get over what ?
My mother is dead and all I want is a hug from her. Its the realisation that it is never going to happen, she will never hold or kiss me that I find so very hard to deal with and that is all I want.
Everytime I start to cry something stops me either people or circumstances and so far I have only shed a few tears for her. Not at all sure what happens next.
I suppose time will heal but at this moment its dosnt feel that way and there is no one to talk to who can give any direction or advice. Like life will just have to wait and see but I still want my muim!!!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old December 30th, 2009, 18:51
Aberdeenlad Aberdeenlad is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 5
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dianna View Post
Thing is I have a hugh hole in my life that I donnt seem able to fill and its not getting any easier. People say I have to get over it...HOW? It will get easier WHEN? She was old YES I KNOW THAT but still miss her does age make any difference. The worst GET OVER IT get over what ?
My mother is dead and all I want is a hug from her. Its the realisation that it is never going to happen, she will never hold or kiss me that I find so very hard to deal with and that is all I want.
Everytime I start to cry something stops me either people or circumstances and so far I have only shed a few tears for her. Not at all sure what happens next.
I suppose time will heal but at this moment its dosnt feel that way and there is no one to talk to who can give any direction or advice. Like life will just have to wait and see but I still want my muim!!!

I know exactly what you mean. Those people who tell you to get over it and move on are the ones who haven't been where we've been. They don't know what it's like. We all think that, because our parents have been around all our lives they are in some way invincible. As we all find out sooner or later, they're not.

Personally, I don't know about the time healing thing. Part of me still refuses, even after 8 months, to accept Mum is gone forever despite being at her funeral and scattering her ashes. I even found myself on Xmas Day when I was at my parents looking for things in the kitchen, not being able to find them and thinking "I'll just go ask Mum" then remembering I couldn't.

I did go through to her bedroom a couple of times, sat on her bed and cried a bit and told her I now appreciated what she went through every year while I sat on my backside watching telly and hoped she was watching and laughing at my feeble attempts at Xmas dinner! Some folk might think that stupid, but it made me feel a bit closer to her.

We can only hope it gets easier as time goes by. This time of year is always going to be hard. Let's hope 2010 is better than 2009 for all of us.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:02.


Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at www.thelightbeyond.com