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  #1  
Old May 20th, 2014, 08:47
barbiern barbiern is offline
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Default One year ago.

I lost my wife Cheryl one year ago this week. And while some people think that I have completely gotten over her loss, nothing could be further from the truth. Only by the grace of God and with a lot of pain have I regained some sort of normalcy. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her. I miss her terribly and will never forget her. Cheryl will always be in my heart and she has changed my life forever.
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  #2  
Old May 20th, 2014, 14:56
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi nick that's the usual response from people a year is a long time to those who do not mourn to us it's only moments i suppose in the future however long our lives we will always get days hard to bare without them days when we just find solace in our memories and other days we cope a lot better and learn to be happy again i will light my candle today for Cheryl with thanks for her life i do this for all my family of friends on here and i hope in some small way it might lighten your pain thinking of you hazel x
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Last edited by hazelharris : May 21st, 2014 at 03:50.
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  #3  
Old May 20th, 2014, 22:51
IMU1111 IMU1111 is offline
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I feel and understand this last year you have had to experience as I have been right there along with you experiencing something similar yet different. No one can understand your feelings and where your mind is. However as time goes by things change even feelings but the thing that remains constant that is the love you will always share with her. She will always be with you especially on these days.
My heart goes out to you both
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  #4  
Old May 22nd, 2014, 13:00
russ russ is offline
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im just starting out on that year pal as michelle only died a couple of months ago now , I have to admit im struggling quite badly at the moment although I do have days when everything just seems normal then she,ll just pop into my mind , as people have said just take it a day at a time but it is so hard and for me personally I really cant imagine my future on my own without her
keep your chin up and if you can give me any pointers on how to deal with things then id be grateful
cheers russ
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  #5  
Old May 23rd, 2014, 04:14
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi russ i am so sorry for your loss of your beloved wife i understand all you are going through i know those words will mean nothing really because we are all in our own grief and we have to deal with it and learn to cope in our own individual way It does help to talk to those who know your pain and if you ever need someone to talk to we are here for you there isn't as many friends on here as a few months ago but there are still some good people on here who will talk to you listen and just be here if you need a friend you can also pm me if you need to chat We can't take away your pain thats impossible the pain is because we love them we have to find this way of going forward and control this aching in our hearts so we just feel their love it all takes time thinking of you hazel
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Last edited by hazelharris : May 23rd, 2014 at 04:43.
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  #6  
Old May 28th, 2014, 10:19
barbiern barbiern is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hazelharris View Post
hi nick that's the usual response from people a year is a long time to those who do not mourn to us it's only moments i suppose in the future however long our lives we will always get days hard to bare without them days when we just find solace in our memories and other days we cope a lot better and learn to be happy again i will light my candle today for Cheryl with thanks for her life i do this for all my family of friends on here and i hope in some small way it might lighten your pain thinking of you hazel x
Thanks Hazel
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  #7  
Old May 28th, 2014, 10:33
barbiern barbiern is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by russ View Post
im just starting out on that year pal as michelle only died a couple of months ago now , I have to admit im struggling quite badly at the moment although I do have days when everything just seems normal then she,ll just pop into my mind , as people have said just take it a day at a time but it is so hard and for me personally I really cant imagine my future on my own without her
keep your chin up and if you can give me any pointers on how to deal with things then id be grateful
cheers russ
Hi Russ, for me family and friends have been very important. And while not absolutely necessary, I also went to a grief counselor. Our lives have changed forever. But I have learned that in time things do seem to get back to normal. Well, at least as normal as they can be without your soul mate. For the most part, I have gotten over the crying stage. That only seems to happen very rarely, like on the anniversary of Cheryl's passing or her birthday. Michelle has gone on to a better place and for those of us left behind, we will all be re-united in God's time. I also found that going to church helps tremendously for me. I know it probably doesn't seem like it now, but things do get better. Hang in there and think of all the good times that you shared together.
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  #8  
Old June 3rd, 2014, 15:03
russ russ is offline
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thanks for that and reading your replies does help
I have to admit im really struggling at the moment both physically and mentally , ive lost a lot of confidence and interest in things I usually do
I feel totally alone although ive got my kids round me , is this normal ?
cheers russ
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  #9  
Old June 3rd, 2014, 17:27
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi russ yes this is very normal being alone in a crowd sometimes we think we are going crazy with grief as the stress and heartache changes us in a lot of ways sometimes it takes a long time to get some semblance back to who we were but grief will take time and you have to accept this go through all these different emotions that has to be experienced before you can start to pick up the pieces of your life again .This lack of confidence is something that shocked me especially after trying to be so strong for a long time the change wasn't like me at all i still find it hard to drive far and i used to drive all over the country i don't know why this happens i suppose it's something to do with the unthinkable has happened to us and we now get scared about everything especially our health and our families being safe The normality of our life has gone and is too painful at the beginning to carry on doing the same things as before watching tv music hobbies holidays the're unbearable for most of us without our loved one sharing it with us so we avoid doing these things but there is nothing to fill that void so you must search for different ways things to do that will help you cope I don't know the ages of your children if they are grown up make sure you talk to them don't close up to your emotions you have to get through this together if they are young and you need help ask your family for support i am here for you if you need to talk Russ believe me it does get better with time i know many will have said that to you already and those words don't mean much when your feeling such despair but take the days as they come do what you have to do to get through it all a time will come one day when you learn to smile again michelle needs you to find this acceptance a peace in your life knowing her love is always with you will give you courage to find happiness with your life in the future thinking of you hazel
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Last edited by hazelharris : June 3rd, 2014 at 17:42.
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  #10  
Old June 4th, 2014, 02:28
russ russ is offline
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thanks hazel and it really does help reading your replies , I for one have always struggled to open up to people but been able to write your feelings down is easier
once again thanks !
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