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Old January 13th, 2014, 07:19
dn0730 dn0730 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 10
Default Grief and Anger..

It seems like the things that used to irritate me now make me fuming mad. There was a moment a week ago that rubbed me the wrong way but I want you to be the judge ... Maybe I'm just overreacting.
My step son turned 18 but he is still under my care since he is still a junior in high school. In the months since I have gone thru the process of updating all his info at his doctors office(s). I am the sole contact and they are good at letting me know when appointments and such are due. Most of the time he'll drive himself to appointments and I'm fine with that. Make me good to know he is getting responsible and has matured before my eyes. I have helped raise him for almost 10 yrs. So now we are sitting at the dinner table and there are lots of relatives and my in-law turns to him and in a concerned voice starts to ask what will happen to all the specialists and how he is going to keep up with all that.. Never mind that I am sitting within an earshot. My step son goes on to make it seem like HE has it under control. He doesn't have a clue other than what I tell him. I don't feel like I need to go updating the entire family on day to day decisions I make in the house. I have been in his life for a while and watched him grow and I plan to see him thru high school. Like I said at the beginning, maybe it's the grief that makes me see this the wrong way... I had to bite my tongue yesterday. It was not the appropriate setting but it rubbed me the wrong way... am I overreacting??
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Old January 13th, 2014, 13:40
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,144

hi dn0730 yes you are over reacting but it's understandable you both have had a great loss in your life and you have to adapt to one another you being now his sole parent and he is at a difficult age at the brink of manhood he could have said it's under control with your help but he didn't think or want to be perceived by the family immature needing your help try not to take it personally i don't think any of my children at 18 would have sung my praises for everything i was doing for them at that age teenagers take a lot for granted One day when he looks back clearly on his life with adult eyes he will speak of all you have done for him and you will understand he felt it all inside the love gratitude and admiration for everything you did and said and always being there for him don't mar the relationship with unnecessary anger in grief our emotions are in overdrive relax and say in the scheme of things that happen in life it doesn't really matter love hazel
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Old January 13th, 2014, 22:42
dn0730 dn0730 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 10

Thanks Hazel. That makes sense.. It's been tough and I'm glad I have people like you that know exactly what I'm going thru. I sensed I was overreacting... things that I would have shrugged off now seem magnified and I get angry easily. I know anger is only a surface emotion and I need to deal with the real issue which is the loss I've experienced and how to pick up the pieces and move forward. I pray a lot and try to keep a positive attitude.
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