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  #1  
Old October 28th, 2012, 21:58
TamLynn TamLynn is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 4
Default I miss Him I miss Him I Miss Him

I'm glad to have found this site as I am so lost.

I lost my love on July 31st this year...almost 3 months ago.

I can't breath I can't think and all I do is cry.

He faught long and hard against epophigeal cancer...but still even as I watched him virtualy melt away before my eyes I never really thought I could lose him.I feel like this horrible hole in my chest and it hurts and vibrates and it never stops...

I miss him so much I just want to hold him and I want him to hold me.

How do I face a lifetime with out him?

I just can't do it.

I just don't know how.
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  #2  
Old October 28th, 2012, 22:38
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi tamlyn i am so sorry for you losing your love and my heart reaches out to you i know the hell you have gone through and the grief you are suffering is unbearable there is no way anyone can take away this awful pain you are feeling but on this site we understand your grief and we will all be here for you these first few months is like a deep pit of despair and you have to find the strength and courage to go through all the different emotions each day brings because of this evil illness you look back to all the heartache and pain you both went through over and over in your mind i kept revisiting the hell as if it was still happening try to realise that day has gone he is now at peace all his pain has dissapeared he remembers you your love is always with him love is such a powerful emotion that can never be forgotten even through death love is all that remains in heaven he will feel such joy as he knows you will be together again one day he left his love in your heart to give you strength to carry on i pray you feel his love guiding you through these dark days we are told that our loved ones hear us if we talk to them i hope you can try to do this perhaps sit by his photo and light a candle and say all you need to you may feel comforted
no one knows how to live without their love we all learn to cope differently we have no choice but to walk this heartbreaking and lonely road that seems alien to us acceptance comes gradually i am so sorry there isn't any easy answers but i embrace you with my love and will always be here for you
love hazelxxx

Last edited by hazelharris : October 29th, 2012 at 05:51.
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  #3  
Old October 29th, 2012, 09:09
gumek gumek is offline
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Default loss of your husband

Hello dear tamlynn, I was so sad to read of your loss of your dear husband. You have come to forum where there are friends who do understand what you are gping through and will be here to help and support you. I offer a welcome to you
But always feel sad that we have all become frie nds through heartache and loss of our loves.

Some of us lost our spouses to cancer too and know of the torment of watching that most precious one to us dissolving before our eyes and the helplessness of not being able to make it stop and go away. Hazel and I have shared of the nightmare we were in with our loves and had to keep it all together, keep our emotions under tabs be positive for them often with the sense of being left to get on with it, and we did just get on with it, silent screams. I'm saying all this dear love, not to upset you, no, but so you know that we do care and do understand your pain and longing and you can say whatever you feel, if it will help you toknow that you are not alone, we will be here for you. I'm not going to say that it will be easy for you and I can't offer words to take your pain away, but please keep intouch and keep talking. Love chrissie. Xx
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  #4  
Old October 29th, 2012, 10:18
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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TamLyn, I am so sorry for your loss.

Hazel and Chrissie have both said it, and you know it: we bear the pain of our loss alone. At times, it's as if we are the only ones in the world. It seems as if the whole world is dark, and only we are awake and sorrowing in the dark. I know you would like to hand off your pain and your grief, it seems so very overwhelming. Yet, it is yours to carry.

There are no words to offer someone in the early days to ease the weight of loss. Yet it might help for you to know others here have each felt the pain of their own loss, and walk with you in spirit.

As much as you can, balance each sad memory with a peaceful one. Some of us believe our loved ones can hear us, so tell your husband how much you miss him. Tell him you need his strength and guidance for this time and feel the warmth of his understanding.

When you can, it might help to tell us a little about your husband. We listen well, and we're with you in shared grief. There are words that might help you as you take small steps forward when you are ready to do that. I haven't lost a husband but a Mom and all of my family now. One thought that I've found helpful: "Those whom we love and lose are no longer where they were before—they are now wherever we are." (St. John Crysostom).
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  #5  
Old October 29th, 2012, 10:42
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Location: Northwest England
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Shalom in Yeshua TamLynn, welcome to the forum. I am sorry the loss of you love is causing you so much pain. I want you to know that I have already said a prayer for you to be comforted.

Watching a loved one die in front of us is always painful, and can be a living nightmare knowing there is nothing we can do to change it. Cancer is a particularly horrid illness, and having watched both my parents and an uncle ebb away I can fully understand how you feel.

You are still in a state of shock right now and you will survive this. You must talk to family and friend who love you. They will understand and will want to help you with your grief. If you cannot do this with them or you have no-one, then do it here. We will all listen and will answer your plea for help.

May God bless you
Tom
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  #6  
Old October 29th, 2012, 18:31
Mart Mart is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Default So sorry

Hello
So sorry to hear of your loss , you are going on the journey that is so hard but will ease in time I know you will be thinking your not going to make it but we all thought that and felt we could not go on , it's been 6 months tomorrow since I lost my wife to that horrible disease I to watched a beautiful woman fade in front of my eyes and its heartbreaking , each day you will get a little more strength from somewhere , my heart goes out to you xx mart
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  #7  
Old October 30th, 2012, 13:28
kaza kaza is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 60
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Hi there

This is a very sad journey for you for all of us. I too watched as my lovely husband lost his life to that horrid illness.

It has been 105 days for me. But you will slowly start to survive the best way you can. Me i have just gone back to work. Life is so very very different now. I don't really life i just exist.

This is a very friendly and caring site and we are all here to support and share are thoughts.

There have plenty of times i have come on the site to rant and rave. So you are more than welcome to do that.

Take care love and prayers to all

karen
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  #8  
Old October 30th, 2012, 17:39
gumek gumek is offline
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Default amongst friends

Hello karen saw uour post and just wanted to say hi
How are you coping how's your daughter getting on? We were wrapped in a nightmare tjis time last year. Don't know when it will get betterit is good to keep talking , winter is such a difficult time. We have to make a new life but don't know how. Take care. Xx chrissie.
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  #9  
Old October 31st, 2012, 14:31
kaza kaza is offline
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Hi Christine

I have had a couple of bad weeks just crying at the slightest thing. Just keep saying just can not understand why I have been left all alone to deal with this nasty world.

Had a difficult time at work my line manager has no compassion and sad I should just move on. To which I blew my rag.

Me and Rachel are off on holiday in 17 days.

How are you I keep thinking about you and hope you are safe and coping.


Love and prayers
Karen
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  #10  
Old October 31st, 2012, 19:45
gumek gumek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaza View Post
Hi Christine

I have had a couple of bad weeks just crying at the slightest thing. Just keep saying just can not understand why I have been left all alone to deal with this nasty world.

Had a difficult time at work my line manager has no compassion and sad I should just move on. To which I blew my rag.

Me and Rachel are off on holiday in 17 days.

How are you I keep thinking about you and hope you are safe and coping.


Love and prayers
Karen
Hello karen love, i cant believe how cruel some people are, they just dont have a clue love just what its like. I was saying to hazel how as the year date approaches i feel sick inside and yes i also cry out to god the question as to why im left alone in this very cruel world. If we think too much we might end up ill, i am trying to focus on the good times and not on what was going on this time last year but its not easy. Please try to ignore these people at work and come here and yell, there is a rule in this universe in that what comes around goes around, not any one of us will live out our lives without going through the losss of a loved one, but what we went through i wouldnt wish on anyone.

Yes im trying to keep busy, hate the lonliness, miss my bears tight hugs and his kisses but i was blessed to have my man in my life for 37 years, i will always love him and i look forward to seeing him again one day, they are waiting for us so hold on in there ok? Keep intouch love, keep warm and enjoy your holiday. love chrissie, xx
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