Need help

[Bouche]

Hi,
The love of my life, soul mate, and best friend, has attempted suicide twice in three weeks. I am currently living in fear. He is going to see a psychiatrist in 2 and an half months, crazy but that is how much time it will take to get an appointment.
I need help because I don't want to lose him.
We have been together since 1989. I know they say not to leave the person alone, so that is what I will have to do. I have to find a way to have the days that I work on weekends adjusted. But his life is worth more than any job.
I am having a lot of trouble because I am a usually happy person but I feel since this has started I've lost some of my life force.
I think about it and worry about him every second of every day.
I am in no way mad at him, We talk about it all the time and I support him 100%. I need to know what more to do what more to say.
He is very good at tricking me and this is why I will Not be leaving him alone.
We have an honest relationship and this is I think the first time he has ever lied to me (aside from harmless things).

Please someone help offer some kind of word as to what to do.
I can't talk to anyone about it.
I know there is a lot of people who run and hide when someone is like this and that is so totally wrong, as we have had some friends turn their back already. It's not their problem I guess. But if someone may try and may succeed wouldn't you like to know you offered your support? Instead of running away?
Thanks for listening and any help or comments.
I love him with all I have but that is not enough.
I don't take that personally either I can't.

[hazelharris]

hi bouche i am so sorry what you and your partner are going through i don't presume to have any answers for you as what he is going through is an illness it's disgrageful that you are both having to wait for help for months is there any way you can get him any private help in the meantime i know this is expensive and your work must be limited as you are spending so much time looking after him theres a charity called mind as well i don't know if they can help there may be others on this site that will give you some more useful help i had a relation who was suffering and they took him straight to hospital and didn't let him out until he wasn't a danger to himself but i suppose that sort of help is all according to where you live nowadays with all the cutbacks if he has attempted this twice it's what he really needs constant hospital care where he will be getting professional help
i'm sorry friends have turned their back on you both this is when we find out who our true friends are is there anyone else who will take it in turn with you in watching him for a couple of months while you wait for help
i can understand your dilema watching someone you love in their illness you must be very frightened has the doctor given him anything to calm him anti depressants i know a lot of people don't like the idea of drugs but in his case it may be neccessary until he gets the help i am sorry i can't help only to say we will all be here for you love hazelxx

[Bouche]

Thanks Hazel it helps to get it out. I don't want to be frustrated but feel like I can only help to an extent. We both realize he needs help and soon. he is already on an antidepressant. But something has happened recently that has caused this extreme down. A friendship of his was broken, one he feels he can't live without. He is very sensitive and takes things harder than most.
I tell him to give it time but he wants to fix it NOW. The other party won't even hear him out which makes it hard.
The world is full of cruel people. But also filled with some amazingly nice people I tend myself to focus on them not the bad ones, but he can't.
We are getting help from a sort of mentor, but that only goes so far too and they don't live near us.
Thanks for listening, the two times he's tried, I was at work I work when he does now so no chance but have to find out what to do about my shifts when he is not working. I can't very well tell this to my bosses, but may have to tell them there is a crisis in the family that needs my attention.

[tom-fisherman]

Shalom in Yeshua Bouche, I am sorry to hear that you are having problems getting help for your partner. One thing you can do is get him to voluntarily section himself. If he tells them at the hospital he is suicidal, they will take him in for 72hrs (i think) but they will take him. At least this will allow you some time to relax.

Do you have any idea what is causing your partners mental health issues? People don't just suddenly want to die, if you can establish what is driving this desire, then perhaps you can get him to talk to me via personal message.

I cannot promise anything, but I will try and help if he is willing to work with me.

May God bless both of you at this time
Tom

[gumek]

Originally Posted by Bouche

Thanks Hazel it helps to get it out. I don't want to be frustrated but feel like I can only help to an extent. We both realize he needs help and soon. he is already on an antidepressant. But something has happened recently that has caused this extreme down. A friendship of his was broken, one he feels he can't live without. He is very sensitive and takes things harder than most.
I tell him to give it time but he wants to fix it NOW. The other party won't even hear him out which makes it hard.
The world is full of cruel people. But also filled with some amazingly nice people I tend myself to focus on them not the bad ones, but he can't.
We are getting help from a sort of mentor, but that only goes so far too and they don't live near us.
Thanks for listening, the two times he's tried, I was at work I work when he does now so no chance but have to find out what to do about my shifts when he is not working. I can't very well tell this to my bosses, but may have to tell them there is a crisis in the family that needs my attention.

hello dear bouche, i have read your posts and wanted to say that although i can't give you advice on this very delicate situation, i know that Tom has been in contact with you, but along with hazel and all of us i wanted to offer my support to you, if you need to offload then we are all here for you. some of us do pray for eachother, may i add you to my prayers. please keep in touch.

love and kind regards

chrissie. xx

[Bouche]

Thank you all for the support,
I will definately find out if my spouse is willing to speak with you tom, at least if he gets this way we can consider it.
I don't have to be on guard all the time he works M-F
but still do worry.
I will be in touch
and thanks!

[hazelharris]

hi bouche i want to help you but as i'm not qualified with any mind illness issues if i say anything it may be the wrong thing to do and i don't want to make things worse for you so if we give any advice think about it or check with his doctor but my suggestion is will it help if he writes a letter to his friend putting things down on paper it will give him some time to write it and wait for an answer from him and with your partner writing it and reading it himself he may be able to see his problems a bit more clearly until he gets any help
if you do get him to do this and you see a reaction in him that is possitive like seeing his problems more easily get a journal that he can write in every night to get his feelings out
you are right sometimes we meet cruel people but the goodness we find in most over ride it all i just feel sorry for the cruel ones they miss out so much of how good life can be
i hope your partners friend will be a bit more compassionate and find it in his heart the goodness that is there in most people to contact him or reply to a letter
thinking of you hazelxx

[Bouche]

Hi
yeah he has tried contacting the friend and has tried using mutual friends but this person is being unreasonable.
But he needs to focus his energy elsewhere which he is trying to do.
What happens is when he gets down about this friend it takes over all positive that is going and I help but that as you may know goes only so far.

[hazelharris]

hi bouche we all find out who our friends are when things get tough and if there not there with us to offer any support there not worth bothering about but you can't say this to your husband i suppose with him in a state of depression has he got any other friends if so keep reminding him of his true friends when he mentions and gets stressed over his lost friendship or try and change the subject as quick as you can when he gets the help he needs he may be able to accept what's happened a bit more logically i hope so
how are you are you eating sleeping and looking after yourself as it must be hard looking after him with all the worryl everyone concentrates on the person who is ill and forgets to find out how the carer is
know we are all here for you love hazelxx