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Old July 22nd, 2011, 00:23
Dragonbug Dragonbug is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 10
Question What do you say??

Hello all, so very brief introduction,
as weird as this sounds i have never "lost" a child I was truely attached to...I have had miscarrages but it was too late by the time I realized they were there... Now this has hurt me but not as severly as losing a child I had grown to love... (not saying that I didnt love the children I have lost, but I didnt know them in the same way)..

So recently a very special person in my life has lost her child... he was still born roughly 3 months early... And I am just not sure what to say that won't make the hurt worse.. I couldn't be there when this event happend (there's a pretty large distance between us) but I love her so much and I just have no idea what can be said/done to let her know that it will be alright...Any advice would be greatly appreciated..

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Old July 22nd, 2011, 12:50
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534

Shalom in Yeshua Bug, Two things, firstly you may not have know the children you lost by miscarriage but you will get to know them when you arrive in Sheol. They will be waiting for you.

With regard to your friend who had a still birth you don't have to say a word to her. If you can go and see her, just give her a hug. If you can't, phone her and tell her that you will always be there for her. You could even write her a card with some nice poetry in it.

The thing we shouldn't do is ignore what has happened. When I lost my sons people would cross the road and pretend they didn't see me, simply because they didn't know what to say to me. That hurt more than just a gesture of shaking hands.

May God bless you
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Old July 26th, 2011, 01:36
Fleming Fleming is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Chicago
Posts: 13

I actually just wrote an article that kinda touches on this topic. I lost my brother about 6 years ago and it was hard to see my mom hurting so much. Though I believe it helps immensely to be there physically with the person who's grieving, it also helps them to know that you're simply thinking of them. Give her a call to let her know that she's not alone and offer to be available whenever she needs you.

If you want to read the article I was talking about, please go here:

Warm regards,
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