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Old October 1st, 2008, 11:32
tcgmd1 tcgmd1 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 2

I lost my son a little over a year ago two weeks from my due date...
Trust me your friend needs to join the MISS Foundation...Everyone there has lost a child and the ladies there helped me alot this past year ...I wouldn't be where I am today w/o them...Just an overall wonderful support group...
"Grief is not a sign of weakness,it is the price of love"
Mommy to Talon,born still 6/1/07 & Austin 9 years old
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Old January 20th, 2009, 07:35
tcgmd1 tcgmd1 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NH
Posts: 2
Default Stillbirth and Healing

Having lost my own son at 38 weeks pregnant, I know how it feels with the never ending roller coaster ride..I am almost 2 years in and still have more bad than good days..Everyone deals with the loss of a child differently. Everyone grieves different, and there is no time limit to grieving. You never get over the death of your child but eventually you learn how to live with it..Tell her to please take it easy on herself and that she is completely "normal".
"Grief is not a sign of weakness,it is the price of love"
Mommy to Talon,born still 6/1/07 & Austin 9 years old
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Old January 28th, 2009, 08:08
Dancer Dancer is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 200

My youngest sister had a miscarriage after trying for around five years to get pregnant. My daughter gave birth to her dead baby one week before she was due to be born there was no heartbeat. Giving birth to a dead baby and then leaving hospital with empty arms must be one of the hardest things in this world. I could do nothing to help my child except just to be there for her.

The Friend Who Stands By

When troubles come your soul to try
You love the friend who just stands by.
Perhaps there's nothing he or she can do
The thing is strictly up to you.
For there are troubles all your own
And paths the soul must tread alone.
Times when love can't smooth the road
Nor friendship lift the heavy load.
But just to feel you have a friend
Who will stand by until the end.
Whose sympathy through all endures
Whose warm hand clasp is always yours.
It helps somehow to pull you through
Although there's nothing he or she can do.
And so with fervent heart we cry.....
God Bless the friend who just stands by.
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Old February 8th, 2009, 23:07
Brad Acura Brad Acura is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New Port Richey, Fla.
Posts: 9
Default Lose of a child before birth

I have two friends that had to carry their children to term knowing that they had already passed away. After the birth it took more than a year for their grief to lessen. That child is yours and you love it just the same as if you were holding it in your arns and there was life. So many do not understand this, I have even heard people say, "well, they can have others." These people surely should never be parents.
Keeping The Promise,
Linda Kimball
Brad's Ma and Champion
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Old June 5th, 2009, 02:02
healing07 healing07 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 35

I think they are in deep grieve for their baby. I think it is normal thing. We can't do anything against of God. Death is the truth of our life.
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Old July 1st, 2009, 06:30
christiangonzalo christiangonzalo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 11

Coping With Grief
“All his [Jacob’s] sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. ‘No,’ he said, ‘in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son.’ So his father wept for him.”—GENESIS 37:35, The Holy Bible—New International Version.

THE patriarch Jacob grieved deeply over the loss of his son. He expected to grieve until the day he died. Like Jacob, you may feel that the pain of losing a loved one is so deep that it will never go away. Does such intense grief necessarily indicate a lack of faith in God? Definitely not!

The Bible portrays Jacob as a man of faith. Along with his grandfather Abraham and his father, Isaac, Jacob is commended for his outstanding faith. (Hebrews 11:8, 9, 13) Why, on one occasion, he even wrestled all night with an angel to get a blessing from God! (Genesis 32:24-30) Evidently, Jacob was a deeply spiritual man. What, then, can we learn from Jacob’s grief? Deep feelings of grief and sorrow when a loved one dies are not incompatible with strong faith in God. Grief is the normal and natural response to the loss of someone we love.

What Is Grief?

Grief can affect us in various ways, but for many the overriding feeling is one of intense emotional pain. Consider the experience of Leonardo, who was 14 years old when his father suddenly died from cardiorespiratory problems. Leonardo will never forget the day his aunt broke the news to him. At first, he refused to believe that it was true. He saw his father’s body at the funeral, but it all seemed strangely unreal. For about six months, Leonardo was unable to cry. Often, he found himself waiting for his father to come home from work. It took about a year before the full impact of the loss sank in. When it did, he felt terribly alone. Ordinary things—such as coming home to an empty house—reminded him of his father’s absence. At such times, he often broke down and cried. How he missed his father!
As Leonardo’s experience well illustrates, grief can be intense. The good news is that recovery is possible. However, it may take some time. Just as a severe physical wound takes time to heal, so it is with bereavement. Recovering from grief may take months, a few years, or even longer. But the acute pain you feel in the beginning will lessen in time, and life will gradually seem less bleak and meaningless.
In the meantime, grief is said to be a necessary part of the healing process and of learning to adapt to the new situation. There is an empty space where before there was a living human. We need to adjust to life without that person. Grief may provide a necessary emotional release. Of course, not everyone grieves in exactly the same way. One thing, though, seems to hold true: Repressing your grief can be harmful mentally, emotionally, and physically. How, then, can you express your grief in healthy ways? The Bible contains some practical advice.

Coping With Grief

Talking about your feelings can bring a measure of relief

Many bereaved ones have found that talking can be a helpful release. Notice, for example, the words of the Bible character Job, who suffered the loss of all ten of his children and endured other tragedies. He said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Notice that Job needed to “give vent” to his concerns. How would he do so? “I will speak,” he explained.

Paulo, who lost his mother, says: “One of the things that has helped me is to talk about my mother.” So talking about your feelings to a trusted friend can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) After losing her mother, Yone asked her Christian brothers to visit her more often. “Talking helped to ease the pain,” she recalls. You too may find that putting your feelings into words and sharing them with a sympathetic listener will make it easier to deal with them.

Writing can be helpful in expressing grief

Writing can also be a helpful release. Some who find it difficult to talk about their feelings may find it easier to express themselves in writing. Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, the faithful man David wrote a deeply mournful song in which he poured out his sorrow. This emotional dirge eventually became part of the Bible book of Second Samuel.—2 Samuel 1:17-27.

Reading about the resurrection hope can be a real source of comfort

Crying may also serve as an emotional release. “For everything there is an appointed time, even . . . a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) To be sure, the death of someone we love is “a time to weep.” Tears of grief are nothing to be embarrassed about. The Bible contains many examples of faithful men and women who openly expressed their grief by weeping. (Genesis 23:2; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12) Jesus Christ “gave way to tears” when he neared the tomb of his dear friend Lazarus, who had recently died.—John 11:33, 35.
Working through grief takes patience, for you may feel that you are on an emotional roller coaster. Remember that you do not have to be ashamed of your tears. Many faithful individuals have found that shedding tears of grief is a normal and necessary part of the healing process.

Draw Close to God

The Bible tells us: “Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you.” (James 4:8) One of the principal ways to draw close to God is through prayer. Do not underestimate its value! The Bible makes this comforting promise: “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) It also assures us: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22) Think about this. As we noted earlier, many have found it helpful to talk about their feelings with a trusted friend. Would it not be even more helpful to pour out your feelings to the God who promises to comfort our hearts?—2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17.
Paulo, who was mentioned earlier, commented: “When I just couldn’t endure the pain anymore and felt that I could not cope, I would get down on my knees and pray to God. I begged him to help me.” Paulo is convinced that his prayers made a difference. You too may find that in response to your persistent prayers, “the God of all comfort” will give you the courage and the strength to cope.—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4; Romans 12:12.
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