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  #1  
Old March 31st, 2013, 10:38
Whitehorse81 Whitehorse81 is offline
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Default It's been a year and a half....

I lost my husband of 30 years, a year and half ago. He was somewhat older then me (20 years), but we lived a very normal marriage life. I have not dated anyone nor do i wish too. I find myself staying busy with my farm and doing work on the house. Visiting friends or have them visit me. I dont think a day has passed that I have not thought about him. I find doing new things seem to help. New experiences, even if they are alone seem to bring me comfort. I'm just now starting to venture out to places alone and I do use the word "widow". I talk about my husband in the present tense, knowing full well he is not here, but it seems to work for me. I know one day I will accept the past and speak accordingly. It does get easier and I do look forward to each day. I keep hoping I will see him in a dream or have a vision of him that would let me know he is ok. My prayers go out to all that have lost a loved one.
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  #2  
Old March 31st, 2013, 11:03
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi whitehorse81 i am so sorry for your loss losing your husband must have caused you so much grief thankyou for writing this thread i am sure it will help our friends on here that are recently bereaved
i hope one day you will find him in your dreams and you can believe that he's happy and at peace in heaven
love hazelx
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  #3  
Old March 31st, 2013, 11:35
sdk sdk is offline
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Hi Whitehorse 81,

so sorry for your loss. For me it is 15 months since my husband of 32 years died. I also keep busy as much as possible. I am retired but went back to work part time and love my job. I want to take a vacation in may to a place Jim and I went to every year but I am nervous. I don't know if going someplace we spent so much time together will make things worse or is it a fear I must try to over come. I think about him all the time and talk to him everyday no matter where I am and that gives me comfort.

Take care,
Sheryl
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  #4  
Old March 31st, 2013, 11:39
Halina Halina is offline
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Dear Whitehorse,

I read your message as a message of hope and inspiration for many others. I know that it's not easy, but it seems like you have decided to and been able to find your own balance and your own way in the face of one of life's most difficult challenges. That's the feeling I get - that you face it and realize there is a way to live with it, on your own. It's beautiful.
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  #5  
Old April 1st, 2013, 10:20
Whitehorse81 Whitehorse81 is offline
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Thank you all for your kind replies. I find going to places we used to visit comforting. I may have a moment of saddness when I first arrive, but that soon passes. I felt this saddness coming on all week and I finally cried yesterday for a bit. I was told this is normal and will happen off and on during the grieving process. Now, I understand what people were trying to tell me.

Hazelharris: I have not lost hope of seeing my husband again. I just wish he would come to me and let me know I made the right decisions at the end of his life and that he is happy now.

SDK: Go on that trip. Jim is with you and wants you to go.

Halina: I pray each day for God to lead me in the right direction. All will come at its rightful time. No need to rush life, take things one day at a time.

Jacquie
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  #6  
Old April 8th, 2013, 14:30
Clarabelle Clarabelle is offline
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Location: Outside Glasgow, Scotland
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Hi Jacquie,

Can I just say how sorry I am for your loss and how brave you are- how brave we all are. What else can we be? For me, it's 16 months today. Like you, I have good days and bad days. But isn't it such a comfort to come here and feel the love and support that we all offer each other? I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

Take care, Clare x
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  #7  
Old April 10th, 2013, 09:32
Whitehorse81 Whitehorse81 is offline
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Thanks for the prayers Clare...since I posted my first post on this site I received the dreaded letter from my step daughter asking about my husband's will....I know I should not worry as my husband took very good care of me, but just her asking set me into a tailspin of anxiety. I know I need to probate his will, I just wanted to do it on my own time. Feel pushed now, which creates stress. If only people would just let us handle our affairs at our time....i pray God will take away my fears and anxiety.
Prayers to you Clare....have a good day...

Jacquie
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  #8  
Old June 5th, 2013, 14:10
hagermeister hagermeister is offline
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Default New to this

I lost my precious Daddy on May 13. I am 1 of 5 disjointed siblings. Dealing with the illness Daddy faced and trying to be there for our mother, somehow I got the job of dealing with finances, insurance, social security, etc. I deal with severe depression already and am looking for suggestions as to how to take care of myself while taking care of others. Tomorrow would have been my parents 71st wedding anniversary. I know the "firsts" are the hardest, but survival seems far away.
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