Common myth

[Calypso]

There's a myth that people who talk about suicide won't actually do it, so many well-meaning people ignore them or accuse them of attention-getting or manipulation.

But it's important to remember that most people who commit suicide told at least one person about what they were thinking of doing. Take all suicide threats seriously. While you can't make choices for another person or force them to get help, let them know that you're there and you'll support them in finding the help they need.

[echos]

Very wise advice. You are absoultely right!

[luciestorrs]

I quite agree, Calypso, thank you for reminding us all how important this is. Here's more useful information about what to look our for, from the Suicide Risk Assessment page of the Light Beyond's grief library:

What are the warning signs?

Suicide prevention experts have initiated a host of risk factors and signs to watch for when assessing the likelihood of suicide. Most experts agree that more times than not, suicide victims leave clues as to their intentions, often referred to as "cries for help." These clues can be giving away possessions, good-bye notes, comments like "You won't have me to kick around anymore" and violent drawings. In addition, a suicidal person may exhibit behavior changes such as:

• a change in appearance or hygiene
• change in appetite
• sleep disturbance
• change in work or school performance
• mood disturbance
• risky behavior, and
• pre-occupation with death.

If you are a friend or relative of a person you believe may be in trouble and contemplating taking his or her own life, it is wise to heed these warning signs and err on the side of caution. All too often we hear from family members or close friends the one sentence we hate to hear: "I didn't think he meant it."

The most important risk factors when assessing suicide

The professional tool utilized in suicide prevention is called a "risk assessment." A recent survey sent randomly to 500 practicing psychologists revealed their views of the most important risk factors in assessing suicide. They included, but are not limited to:

• the medical seriousness of previous attempts
• a history of suicide attempts
• acute suicidal ideation
• severe hopelessness
• attraction to death
• family history of suicide
• acute overuse of drugs or alcohol, and
• loss and separation.

Triggering events or situations may include medication issues and interactions, social triggers and events like the loss of a loved one, ostracism, divorce, trauma, anniversaries, media violence and change in employment status. If someone you know is talking about suicide and especially if he or she has a plan of how they might take their life, always let someone know. If you are concerned about someone you love, a good place to start is by talking to them and telling them that you care. Giving someone hope and letting them know they are loved goes a long way in helping suicidal people. Professional help is available through the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

What else can you do if you are really worried about someone?

A very useful source of practical information, which is aimed at the suicidal themselves, is the Suicide: Read This First page. If you know of someone who is feeling suicidal, try to get them to read this page; it will only take about five minutes. For those of us trying to prevent suicide, it also contains Handling a call from a suicidal person, a very helpful ten-point list that you can print out and keep near your phone or computer, and What can I do to help someone who may be suicidal?

[jnjsarauer]

I used to think that people who talked about suicide were just doing it to get attention or be manipulative. While this is undoubtedly true in some cases, we can never know for sure, so it is always best to seek help. Where I live, they will put a person in a 72-hour psychiatric hold if they are threatening suicide.

[tater03]

This is a very good reminder, thank you. I feel that if someone is threatening suicide that you have to take it seriously no matter what. Just the fact that it is stated means something in not right.

[mollyL]

I can't agree more...we need to take talking about suicide very seriously. This whole thread has been very informative. There are many people who wish that they had taken such talk seriously...

[Jewel]

One important thing to remember, that I learn in my psych courses, is that many people who have talked about suicide may start to appear happier than they once were. You still need to be aware that they may commit suicide even though they appear better - they may appear happier because they have a plan. Many who commit suicide did not seem suicidal up to their death because they were happy about planning a way out.

[leighdu]

This is so very true. There was something in the news recently about a girl from Myspace who had a history of depression . From what I remember, the girl had a friend whose neighbors went on Myspace to joke around with her and told her she should go ahead and do it. They also went as far as making up a fake account and pretending to be a boy that liked her. Well, she did. Suicide can never be taken lightly no matter what others may think. Someone may say it a thousand times and never do it, but then the next time they say it may be the last time they say it. Also, the girl who commited suicide was happy and very "bubbly" weeks before. Here is a link to the story :

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21844203/

[RoxyMoron]

It's the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" syndrome...they may really feel this way or just say it for attention or because it's "cool." No matter what, they should be counseled to remind them of the things they have going good in their life and why they are worth something to us.

[shay]

Originally Posted by Calypso

There's a myth that people who talk about suicide won't actually do it, so many well-meaning people ignore them or accuse them of attention-getting or manipulation.

But it's important to remember that most people who commit suicide told at least one person about what they were thinking of doing. Take all suicide threats seriously. While you can't make choices for another person or force them to get help, let them know that you're there and you'll support them in finding the help they need.

Sometimes they tell someone so that maybe they can get help. I know that's why I told my DR. I didn't want to feel like that anymore. They are seeking attention, but it's just attention to get help, not like, unneeded attention...pointless attention...if any of that makes sense. lol. You are right. All threats of suicide should be taken seriously.