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-   Loss of a child (http://www.thelightbeyond.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   Miscarriage is a loss too (http://www.thelightbeyond.com/forum/showthread.php?t=61)

Calypso July 29th, 2007 16:16

Michelle, I am so sorry for your losses. But I have to say I agree with ComfortDoc. Everyone grieves differently. You certainly have a right to state your feelings and experiences and expect them to be heard and validated, but it's not fair to try to tell other people how to feel about their losses. Again, I'm sorry for everything you've been through.

SageMother July 29th, 2007 19:49

Things are handled differently, at different times, by different people.

These days a mother who loses a baby gets counselng and help where, when I lost my daughter on Mother's Day,1974, I got a 10 page bill.

There are times that I have been stunned, sometimes, by how others respond to the devastation..perhaps as you are now. Usually they are younger, and so they were counseled and helped after their loss and throughout their subsequent pregnancies. There were times when I resented their views, but in the end I had to realize that they were from a different time and place. Their views are not meant to hurt you or to make light of your loss.

luciestorrs August 2nd, 2007 05:25

Dear Michelle,

I am enormously sorry for your losses, and we shall be sorry to see you go. I set this site up with the aim of being as helpful as possible, and all I can do is apologize if you have not found it so...

My heart goes out to you. I hope that your daughter's fund continues to do well and that something good continues to come out of your tragedy.

janus76 August 2nd, 2007 05:55

alot of people say tht having a miscarriage does not count as a loss coz the child has not yet been born but it is it is a living breathing child and can hurt just as much as any other loss

nangel78 August 5th, 2007 16:01

Miscarriages are a loss too. You are losing a child you are connected to and that is hard to deal with.

Calypso August 9th, 2007 20:01

Different people grieve in different ways. I have known women who have not experienced a miscarriage as a deeply felt loss; but I have also known women who have been devastated by a miscarriage. It just goes back to grief being very individual, and respecting the path that someone else is on, even if their thoughts and feelings are very different from your own.

cassiem0221 August 13th, 2007 07:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by sandmike123 (Post 488)
I had a pregnancy like this too. But my doctors did a D&C the very next day. I don't think I would have handled being told to let nature take it's course very well at all.

Well, to say the least, I wasn't happy. I was young and if I had known then what I know now, I could have went to a different OB and had a D & C. I didn't know that I had any other options then.. I think I was only 19 or 20...

cassiem0221 August 26th, 2007 23:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calypso (Post 801)
Different people grieve in different ways. I have known women who have not experienced a miscarriage as a deeply felt loss; but I have also known women who have been devastated by a miscarriage. It just goes back to grief being very individual, and respecting the path that someone else is on, even if their thoughts and feelings are very different from your own.

This is so true.. I thought I would just die after having my first miscarriage. It was just truly devasting for me and I thought I wouldn't ever learn to cope. My half-sister had a miscarriage a while back and her thought was..."it just wasn't meant to be!" I don't know how a person can think like this but it just proves the point you stated.. Everyone grieves differently.

Sunnycharacter August 29th, 2007 10:13

Miscarriage
 
Yes, it is a loss of a child. My sister in law had one years ago. She brought me in to see what it was, and I suggested she get right to the hospital, but it looked suspicious for being so newly pregnant. It was the baby and very crushing. Then when she got pregnant with her son and it was fine, it helped a lot. However, then she lost her son in a car crash when he was 17. It still hurts but she did turn her grief into something positive. Went back to school and got her teaching degree, now teaching high school math. Good for her!:)

jr_sci February 7th, 2008 12:58

Its Good that you start this thread to share things of mothers who lost their unborn baby.Hope this never happens to anyone.


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