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View Full Version : My Experience of Grief Over the Loss of My Fiance


shieldmaidenofchrist08
October 28th, 2008, 00:06
I hope that my story will give you hope in your grief. On November 9, 2007, my fiance died unexpectantly due to a sudden massive heart attack. He was 23. He had a terminal illness, he battled Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. You never would have thought that he would die that early morning of a heart attack. He was happy and we had joke around and laughed that night.We were soul mates and were very close. We had been together for 10 months, we just knew it was love at first sight when we met.

Before he went to sleep, he told me that he loved me very much and that I was a miracle to him. I was three months pregnant with his child at the time, and he put his hand on my belly and talked to the baby and told him that he loved him/her. When I got to go to the bathroom and I came back, he was awake and he spoke to me, he said, "Snuggle up closer to me". Before I got a chance to lay next to him to go back to sleep, he was unconscious. It was in a split second he was gone. I tried to perform CPR until the paramedics came, but he remained unresponsive. He was taken to the hospital but they couldn't resuscitate him, they pronounced him dead.

Since that very night that he died, I still have flashbacks. It's been a year now and I am still battling grief. We all have our own time in trying to deal with grief. You can't make it go away. You can't lock it up in a box and throw the key away. You have to deal with it. When I feel like crying, I cry. But what has helped me get through it and deal with it is God. He gave me the strength to work my way through grief. Grief has it's stages like Shock, Denial, etc. I have finally reached the stage of Reality and Acceptance. You will too in your own time. Don't rush your grief, but don't let it stay in one place.

Sometimes I felt that I was getting no where in the grieving process but I came to realization that I was getting somewhere. I am able to smile again and embrace little joys in life again. I find comfort knowing that he is in heaven and he isn't suffering from that horrible disease. I am finding strength everyday. God gives me enough strength to last the day. That reminds me of the story in Exodus 16, when the Lord gives the starving people food. The Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day there are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” That is how God is giving me strength to endure this hardship of grief. He gives me just enough to get through the day and on next day He does the same for me again. I know that the He has never forsaken me. “God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4).

As I was reading through 2 Corinthians, I also realized that God has a plan for me. God uses the bad for good. I know that as I am going through the pain of grief, I can use it to comfort others that have gone through the same thing. “Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is your comfort and Salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you.” (2 Corinthians1:6)

whisnant way
October 31st, 2008, 17:04
Thank you, that was very inspirational. Bless you and your baby.

paulmot
November 2nd, 2008, 17:42
You have had the baby?

Rachele
November 3rd, 2008, 15:28
I agree Shieldmaiden with the statement not to get locked up in the grief. It is quite a journey to go through, the grief that is. His Little Lady, I do not think your husband will literally be in a fiery of hell. I think he will have to deal with his actions and choices he made on earth. If he does deal with it, my understanding is God is forgiving for whenever a person is ready and truely wants forgiveness. I don't think people are locked into hell forever, unless they choose to stay in that state of being.

chesterlee
May 11th, 2009, 12:03
What a good story and what a good heart. You inspire all of us here. You are a strong person. You help others that suffering like in your situation now. I'm proud of you ma'am.

Maybe you have another plan to help more. Please read this maybe it give you idea how thankful you are even your husband was died. http://www.thankgodforebooks.com/husband-died.html read it maam. Im sure it help you.

Thank You

kate09
November 16th, 2009, 04:59
Your story is really touching the heart and my heart goes out to you. I m so sorry for your fiance. Its devastating loss for you and difficult to deal with it. I understand your feelings.
I lost my uncle 3years ago with heart attack and its really bad time for me. Your post is really helpful for deal with grief. My prayers and condolences for you.