View Full Version : Lost

August 16th, 2014, 16:40
I have been a widow only for 3 months. I am so lost that I can't sleep, eat way too much and don't seem to care about anything anymore. He always did everything for us, groceries, bills, and taking care of me and our 2 boys. I pray daily to go be with him. I would never hurt myself but I want god to just take me to be with him. I am angry with the drs, hospital, and all his nurses for letting him go.

How do we let them go and begin to live again? It is just more than I can take.

Do any of you feel this same thing?

August 16th, 2014, 17:34
hi Georgia i am so sorry for your husbands passing it's our worst nightmare so hard to understand why they have gone and anger at the doctors however unfair the feeling is it's one most of us go through and i suppose we all have issues with them because of some of the dreadful times we may have gone through with an illness why they couldn't save them is because they did their best but miracles is beyond their capability When my husband first went to heaven i never went to bed until i was exhausted then slept for about 4 hours and the body clock goes haywire and can be months before you start to get some decent sleep it's part of the grieving process i'm sorry there is no easy way to get through it it's long hard heartbreaking months ahead of you where you just have to go with all that this grief throws at you There are a few very good threads from cal on here where he talks about all the stages of grieving perhaps you can read them and get some help from them we are all different in how we cope how long it takes us to get some sort of normality back where we can at least cope but even though you can't understand how at the moment we do get through it You are loved and have 2 precious boys to love and look after he has left them in your safe care everything you do for them will come from both of you because his love is within guiding you to do your best Many at first just feel helpless don't want to carry on don't want to live without them and all we want is to end the nightmare of pain and loss and have them here back with us but you have to accept he is now at peace in heaven you have to try and carry on you have a job to do and a life to live It's not easy as i said but gradually you will pull yourself out of this awful grief many tears to cry and days where you have to just go with the feelings as they come i send you so much love i do understand how you are feeling and i send a hug to show i care i hope you have family and friends to support you and if you need a friend on here i am always here and offer my hand of friendship you are not alone xxxx hazel x

August 16th, 2014, 21:09
Thank you Ms. Harris for your kind remarks. I hope you are right. Right now it is terribly lonely and I miss him so.

August 17th, 2014, 05:08
i know you are lonely my friend gradually you will have to start filling this massive hole where it feels desolate and so lonely with meaningful things to fill your life with talking and making new friends helped me so much it was my survival and music There is no quick fix the days are all down in a vision of hell at the moment but you may not even notice it at first one day there will be some small thing that you will smile about and get 5 mins respite from the grief then gradually the next time it may be 10 mins this is how we get through the grieving small steps and always different from day to day Try and lean on your friends who can listen to you as you need to talk about your loss get the feelings out to someone who cares also writing down your feelings from day to day how you are coping what you are doing however mundane the days are at the moment writing about it may help thinking of you hazel x

August 21st, 2014, 01:17
Georgia, Yes I have felt that way except I couldn't eat or drink. I know the emptiness you feel. I understand wanting to be with him. My husband offered to take me with him before he passed and I said no. So many days I wish I would have said yes. I believe I am still here for a reason. So are you. Your boys. Don't try to rush the grieving process. Take one day at a time. I promise, it eventually gets better. Be well.

August 30th, 2014, 15:42
Hi Georgia

I am sorry for your loss. But we are left behind for a reason. I thought the same as you when I lost my husband. Why has he left, why has he left me to bring up our daughter all alone.
You will get there day by day and this site is a great help. I know everyone helped me on here. Even if I was on for a rant and moan at how sad I was.
I am still so very sad and still lost, but each day holds new challenges for us that we owe it to our loved ones to get through it.
My pain never goes away, I shop alone, I sleep alone, I do everything alone. But I know if I want to speak to Geoff my husband I do, and I know he is listening to me.
You will get there, you will find some peace. Maybe in a month a year or two years but believe me you will find some peace. I will never understand why, but I know it was for a reason that reason I do not know.
I do not post much on here now, but I do read a lot of the pain.
Be strong and do not be afraid to cry or scream or say what ever is on your mind, it will help.
I send love and prayers to you and your children.