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HannahD
December 14th, 2013, 07:15
Is anyone else having a hard time during the holidays? I find I'm sadder than I already was. The holidays were such a time of joy for my husband and I. I just can't bear it.

I feel so sad and alone.

Hannah

sdk
December 15th, 2013, 08:24
Hannah,

Holdays and anniversaries can be very hard. I find this time of the year very difficult because not only is it the holidays but it is the anticpation and reliving the last days of my husbands life. Jim died on Jan. 8, 2012. Last year I was numb and this year reality is playing a bigger role. When I had to light the chanukah menorah I kept thinking of him saying the prayers but I did it myself and got through it. I am fortunate that I had to stay strong for my 2 year old grandaughter and help her celebrate the holiday and it worked. I have also being around others helps. Last year I just wanted to be alone, this year not as much. I talk to my husband all the time and that gives me the strength to push through. I also recently joined a berveament group and that has really helped. We are planning on spending new years together so that none of us are alone.
Take care and try to remember the joy you had with your husband. I bet you will smile.

Hugs,
Sheryl

HannahD
December 16th, 2013, 08:40
Dear Sheryl… thank you for responding. I am so sorry for your loss. You understand exactly how I feel. I was in shock last year and this year, as you, I'm feeling the reality of the loss. It's very hard.

We didn't have children so I'm pretty much alone. This makes it very difficult during the quiet, lonely days.

Thank you again for your response.

Warmly,
Hannah

Doc Martin
December 17th, 2013, 11:28
Hi Hannah

I'm finding that the holiday season is hard. My wife passed away in September so it is still 'raw' and this is the first Xmas without her. We really enjoyed Xmas but she did most of the present selection although we did the shopping together. I miss this and also miss the usual 'what do you want for Xmas' game. She is not there for me to buy a present and I will not receive anything from her. One of the things I always bought was a bouquet of flowers and every-time I pass a florist shop I am reminded that she has passed away. Little did I know that when I bought her presents last year and wrote her Xmas card that it would be the last time I would ever do this. I have noticed that many of the relatives on her side of the family have not sent Xmas cards this year; whether this is because they think it will upset me I do not know but it adds to the feeling of isolation.

So, you are not alone and hopefully the pain and sadness will lessen each year but the memories will never fade.

Martin

HannahD
December 19th, 2013, 08:27
Martin… thank you for commenting. It is so hard isn't it? The awareness of knowing we will never be with our loved ones the same way we were. I can't bear it. I try to be strong each day but the sadness is overwhelming. I just want my husband back. I'm going to have to face reality somehow… I just don't know how. Like you say.. the grief is raw.