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EllieF
November 13th, 2012, 10:07
Hi im 22 years old and have just lost my partner of 5 years suddenly. I have a two year old son and im lost. Im functioning for my son and on the surface but i feel like a robot how do i find comfort.??

hazelharris
November 13th, 2012, 10:19
hi ellie come on here and talk to me whats happened we all here have lost a loved one you can use the thread you have started of private message me i am here for you
hazelxxx

kaza
November 13th, 2012, 13:24
Hi Ellie

Hazel is right talk on the forum, everything that happens is scary and you will go through so many emotions.

But like hazel says we have all lost a dear loved one and we are here to help and listen.

I have found all on this site help me through my stages. I have ranted and raved and no judges us.

Keep strong

Love and prayers
Karen

gumek
November 13th, 2012, 17:38
Hello ellie so very sorry for the sudden passingu of your love. You have come to a place of support where you can say whatever you need to, we all understand and will stand with you. You can let it out, you won't be judged. Once again dear
Ellie so sorry.

Chrissie. Xx

EllieF
November 13th, 2012, 18:30
Thank u everyone i just dont no what to do. How to raise my son alone. He was all i ever knew he supported me loved me and was my best friend. Because im so young im so sad i have a long road ahead of me alone.

gumek
November 13th, 2012, 18:40
Hello dear elie, please try not to think of such things fight now, I know it is almost impossible to do. Do you have friends and family close by if you help with tbings
They will want to be there for you. Please come here whenever you need to offload, I wish I could take your pain away love I will remember you in my prayers to be comforted.

Love and hugs.

Xxx chrissie.

EllieF
November 13th, 2012, 19:01
Thank u chrissie. I have amazing friends and family. I talk to them all the time and see them everyday but i just feel like im floating around waiting for something to happen. Mine and my little baby sons life will never be the same. I worry i wont be enough for my son and that i know i can never be whole again. Everything was just so normal in our happy little bubble and its been burst . Im just zombie like i feel hollow

hazelharris
November 13th, 2012, 19:42
hi ellie i'm glad that you have help from family and friends you will get through this because your a mum and your son especially at his age needs all your attention on him it's not easy to bring up a child by yourself but it can be done and it's rewarding you most certernly will be enough for your him because you love him and love is the best gift we give our children if we love them the road is easy you say you feel like a zombie thats how we feel when we are in grief for a long time gradually normal feelings come back but in the mean time you have to learn to cope without your love and make your son as happy as you can try to protect him from your sadness
we are here for you love hazelxxx

tom-fisherman
November 14th, 2012, 03:05
Shalom in Yeshua EllieF. Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to her of the death of you partner and the way you are feeling right now. Know that I have already said a prayer for you to be comforted.

I am please you have good family/friends around you as these are important. Please share with us his name and what happened to him. Then try not to think to far ahead. Be kind to yourself, you are in a state of shock after all.

You are among friends here who only want to help you so please say what is on you mind, nobody with condemn you regardless of what your say. Be confident in that!

May God bless you
Tom

gumek
November 14th, 2012, 04:52
Hello ellie, yes you are havong all the emotions and the shock it takes time my love I promise that in time you will be able to make new plans for baby and yoursrlf, but this dosent come easy for us to do, you will hear all kinds of helpful advise but also some very stupid things, just ignore them. All of us here know first hand of all the why's, the how's and I am only now afger almost one year starting to accept the changes ahead. I cannot even think or imagine how it is to lose your love so young in years, l was blessed to have my hubby in my life for almost 38 years I'm now almost 60 but now its just me and my cat bani, I was terrified at first you know? Giuls was a gentleman and a loving husband and we cared for and loved one another vety deeplyand tbought we would grow old together so I was so frightened at first, frozen and in shock but it is getting better evety day, yes of course I cry and I will miss him till I see him again when I get called home. I speak to him daily and I don't hear his voice as such but I know that he is watchong over me and is wanting me to be happy and enjoy the rest of my 20years or so Your love is doing the same for you. Tom suggested that maybe to tell us all about your love then we sort of meet him, does that make sense love?
Anyway dear ellie, ee oldies here can maybe like mums and dads, we offer you all our support and love.

Love and hugs

Chrissie. Xxx

EllieF
November 14th, 2012, 05:03
His name was nathan and he had a cardiac arrest in the early hours of the morning. He woke me up before it all happend. Im not staying at our home but i plan to go back at the end of the week and i have been in the house to clean etc. i just keep finding excuses to go out so i dont have to sit in doors i just want to be with people constantly is rhat normal? Is it normal to not cry all the time? I have never lost anyone before i havr both sets of grandparents still!! We thought we had all the time in the world

hazelharris
November 14th, 2012, 05:46
hi ellie crying is normal in our grief it's a release when you don't cry you mustn't feel guilty it doesn't mean you don't care any more the days will always be up and down one day you may feel able to enjoy living find a bit of happiness in the day and the next it feels like the end of the world you will have to expect this for a while and be kind to yourself and go with the emotions as they come
being with people who care and talking to everyone who is kind enough to listen is what will help get you through this
love hazelxxx

gumek
November 14th, 2012, 05:56
Hello, how yu coping today love. In answer to your question about not crying
Well perhaps you are stiill in shock mode we are all different in how wr cope and we all have inbiult strength too. I'm so sorry for what has happened love.
Please keep coming here and talking and in time your tears will come they are a good thing they will help you to heal.
I did srnd you a message today love, l must have lost it but plesde keep intouch.

Love and hugs
Chrissie. Xxx

tom-fisherman
November 14th, 2012, 08:57
Shalom in Yeshua EllieF, thank you for telling us about Nathan and his heart attack. I must say he was awfully your to suffer that. Do you have any idea what the cause was? Was he in poor health running up to this?

Going out is a good thing for you. You don't need to make excuses for yourself. Do what you need to do. Sometimes just walking with a pram in front of you is quite therapeutic and allows you to think clearly. Do you go visiting or do you just end up in places?

Dont worry about crying either they will come probably when you least expect it, and there is no normal or abnormal here because we are all different human beings and we deal with things in a way that is right for us.

Keep talking to us.

May God bless you
Tom