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sdk
April 4th, 2012, 18:29
Passover starts Friday night and for the first time in my life I am not looking forward to the holiday. My husband Jim and I loved all the traditions of this holiday. We would go together and buy all the food needed, change over all the dishes, silverware and pots. We would then remove all the non-passover food from the cabinets and put in the passover food. We would clean the refrigator out and line the shelves. It was alot of work but we loved doing it together. We did it for 32 years. This year I decided to just buy the basic food and leave it on the counter. I am going to use paper plates and utensils. We always had big family sedars and this year my daughter is making the dinner just one night. I really did not even want to go to her house but it is my grandaughter first passover and I need to be there for that. Part of me just wants to be alone and part of me is afraid to be alone. I was invited to a very close friends house for the other night, it all seems to overwheming to deal with.

Sheryl

tom-fisherman
April 5th, 2012, 04:22
Shalom in Yeshua Sheryl, I can understand the way you are feeling right now, but this is only because you are missing Jim so much. Hunting Chametz and the spring clean can help you take your mind off things even for just a short period of time. Many of our friends use paper plates and utensils and that is acceptable.

All holidays I know are difficult when you have lost a loved one but it is something that you can enjoy again, and share with your family who love and care for you. Try to enjoy your grand daughters first passover. You will be in my prayers.

Feeling like going out and about will come with time, but please don't give in to the desire to be alone as this will just make you feel lonely and isolated. Take a step at a time when in suits you.

May God bless you
Tom

gumek
April 5th, 2012, 05:11
Hello Sheryl, I have just read your post, have been unwell for couple of days,I was supposed to go to London today to meet up with family,but wasn't well enough to go. I am sad for you love cos this will be a hard time for you and your family, and I can't give you any words to comfort you. This will be Giuls and I first passover apart too. I suppose we have to try and keep going forward for the sake of our family and you have your new little treasure to enjoy also. You haven't told us her name. Your Jim can see you, he is watching over you and he will want you to go on with all the things that meant so much to you both, does that make sense?

Well if you want to post back I am here along with all our other hurting and caring friends at the forum. Please try to smile through your tears.

love and God bless, Shalom.

chrissie.xxx

Clarabelle
April 5th, 2012, 09:55
Shalom, Sheryl,
I would just like you to know that you're not alone while there are such good, kind people offering you their love and support here. Nothing that anyone can say can take away your pain, but I offer you my prayers with the others who reply that you will find strength to cope.

With love and understanding,

Clare x

sdk
April 5th, 2012, 17:58
thank you everyone for all your support and prayers. It is very helpful. I know all the first like holdays, anniversies, etc. are going to be extra hard but that they are all part of the grieving process. It just seems sometimes that everything I do or places I go are all first, the first time without gym. We were married for 32 years and knew each other for 37 years. The last year and a half since I retired we were together almost all the time. The lonliness sometimes is so overwhelming. I talk to him all the time but want so badly to hear a response. I sometimes will call his cell phone, just to hear his voice.

To everyone have again thank you,

sheryl xxxxxx

Marjatta
May 2nd, 2012, 21:35
Hi Sheryl,

Yes, getting through those "firsts" is really difficult. I had a similar situation where I was invited to his mother's for Easter dinner. I kept thinking he should have been sitting there beside me at the table. But his mom had to have her ritual too, and she needed family around her. She needed to celebrate something.

So in our individual ways, all who are grieving, we lend support to one another through these traditions we carry on in the absence of our loved ones. We just do it because it's the glue that holds us together. It gives us each courage to face another day. And it gives us hope that life is indeed worth living and there will still be some good things to look forward to that will make us smile.

Big hugs,

Marjatta

hamilton
May 3rd, 2012, 09:50
Although this was started about a diff holiday and this is the spouse/partner area, I know Mother's Day will impact a number of you in various ways due to loss, so hope you make it through OK.

tom-fisherman
May 3rd, 2012, 11:56
Shalom in Yeshua Hamilton, what a lovely kind thing to say to those in the forum thank you.

May God bless you
Tom

hamilton
May 5th, 2012, 07:26
Thx Tom, same to you...