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victoriadip
November 26th, 2011, 06:28
my partner who i love dearly has been preparing for the loss of his daughter for almost 6 years. she has a very rare genetic disease. in the last two weeks she has been hospitalised and he is expecting to lose her very quickly now. she is suffering a lot and naturally he is finding this extremely difficult.

our relationship was wonderful, we had plans for the future and everything was going great. but in these last few weeks, which i was prepared for from the start, he has decided that he has no longer got a hold of his own emotions and is pushing me away - he hasnt even let me visit. he says he cant talk about our future (even though i dont ask him to) all he can focus on is his daughter. ive told him that this is exactly what he should be focused on, i understand entirely and im there as a support to him whenever he needs me.. but he still seems to be pulling away. what should i do? i want to give him space, but i cant face losing him.

just a little on my background - i have lost my father and a baby within the last three years.

please give me some advice.. any advice... thank you xx

hamilton
December 3rd, 2011, 15:13
I am so sorry for your losses and this difficult time. If your relationship is meant to be it will be. If he asks for space, give it to him. I really doubt you will lose him over this. As you say it's understandable that he's pulling away but I think not so much pulling away from you as pulling towards his daughter. Give it time.

cljm
December 10th, 2011, 11:28
my partner who i love dearly has been preparing for the loss of his daughter for almost 6 years. she has a very rare genetic disease. in the last two weeks she has been hospitalised and he is expecting to lose her very quickly now. she is suffering a lot and naturally he is finding this extremely difficult.

our relationship was wonderful, we had plans for the future and everything was going great. but in these last few weeks, which i was prepared for from the start, he has decided that he has no longer got a hold of his own emotions and is pushing me away - he hasnt even let me visit. he says he cant talk about our future (even though i dont ask him to) all he can focus on is his daughter. ive told him that this is exactly what he should be focused on, i understand entirely and im there as a support to him whenever he needs me.. but he still seems to be pulling away. what should i do? i want to give him space, but i cant face losing him.

just a little on my background - i have lost my father and a baby within the last three years.

please give me some advice.. any advice... thank you xx

Victoriadip,
Your partner may need every ounce of energy--every ounce of emotion he has, and even what he doesn't have---to deal with the losing of his daughter. Indeed he may be pulling himself away, and therefore you feel he is pushing you away---it may simply be his way of isolating himself from the harsh reality of what he is facing. Could also be too---not wanting to be close to anyone---not wanting to love so much----and then to lose that love as he is now. It may be his way of not wanting the the pain and suffering of hurt anymore.

Be patient----he has the right to feel any way he wants. Try to look and understand from his perspective and not your own. Really---he is not dealing with HIS life---he is dealing with losing his daughter's life.

There is nothing you can do---except "be there for him", if and when he needs you. Let him have his choosing of it...what he needs, not what you might need. The issue is what is best for him.

tom-fisherman
December 18th, 2011, 13:13
Shalom in Yeshua VictoriaDip, I am sorry to hear about your losses, which may be tending to make you feel a little insecure. Please don't worry about your partner at this time as he is focused on one thing at the moment. If your relationship is based on solid foundations it will be fine.

When he has seen his daughter and comes home to you, say nothing just offer him a hug. This will speak volumes.

May God bless you
Tom