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NinaLovingHim
June 4th, 2010, 05:37
I Lost the love of my life on May 15, 2010 Of a Massive Stroke, I feel so empty and lost i was at work taking care of other people while my husband was home alone having a massive stroke, i didnt even get a feeling that something was wrong until i went home and found him on the floor of our dining room with his legs cross and hands on his belly like he was in a deep sleep, which now i understand that he was laying that way because he excepted that it was his time to go, then i had to be the one to make the choice to take him off the ventilator, which i new that was his wishes, but seeing him leaving me peacefuly in 15 mins helped alittle knowing that he did not suffer. But i still feel lost he was my life and we would of been married for 6yrs in Sept and toghter for 14yrs in march of 2011. The days sometimes feel long and lonely but though gods help i have been doing ok. My problem now is that i am back to work and i feel so much anger when i am at work, i thought it might be because he died in the hosiptal or the fact that i was at work when he was having his stroke, but i think it cold be both. When it gets close to me having to go to work i get a crazy feeling over my body than i start to cry and can hardly beath, and feel why do i need to go to work and take care of other people when i wasn't there to take care of my own husband. I know it's surpose to get better in time ,but i sometimes which it would hurry on up and get better so i dont have this lonely, sad, empty feel without the love of my life and my SOULMATE!!

Jackie4444
June 6th, 2010, 13:59
Hi Nina , Sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my Darling husband 11 months ago and my whole world has fallen apart. I waved my husband off to work and he never returned due to a motorway crash.
I dont think we will ever get over our husbands, I think we just have to learn to live with it. ( But how we do that i have no idea) .
I truely understand your pain and lonelyness, its dreadful.
If you ever need me to chat to i am always hear for you
Take care Jackie x

NinaLovingHim
June 6th, 2010, 20:02
Thanks Jackie4444 I am sorry about your lost also that is so true we will always have love for our husbands, no matter what happens in the future my husband will always have a special place in my heart that no one would ever be able to fill. So it's been 11 months later and how are you doing now, me june 15 will be 1 month and its so fresh still almost like a dream until i wake up. But though gods help and family and friends its been a little easyer to handle, although some days are better than others.

Jackie4444
June 7th, 2010, 10:36
Hi , I went back to work 2 months after i lost my husband , but have been signed off again since April as i carnt come to terms with whats happened .
I feel like a little girl in a shop who has just lost her mum ( that panic feeling you get) . Some people are getting fed up with me and i have been told ( well its been 10 months now , you should be over this) How cruel some people can be. Hope you are ok Jackie x

NinaLovingHim
June 7th, 2010, 22:34
Hi, Jackie pay them no mind, people can't even begin to understand how it feels to lose a husband or a wife unless they have been though it. Everyone is different and grieve different every case is different some people take longer then others. And another thing we can never get over loseing a soulmate, i have talked to people who have lost a spouse and some have still been grieving 2yrs later so there is no such thing as YOU SHOULD BE OVER IT BY NOW..Shame on them for telling you something like that. I Have been back to work only 3 times and i can tell you its the hardest thing i have done i cant even focus while i am at work, so i am going to try to take off another month and try it then, plus it may help me because i am moving to NC with my mom and dad for a yr to give me time to grieve and finish paying off some bills. So i will start a new job there so hopefully it would be a little better, because i have no memorys of my beloved husband there. But me moving to NC wont stop me from grieveing the lost of my husband it just will help because its a new place and me and my Beloved husband dont have any memorys there.

lizjoslyn
June 16th, 2010, 20:09
Jackie and Nina
I feel for you both. I can't imagine my life 11 months from now. I don't know how you are surviving. But I can't believe that anyone would tell you that you should be over it by now. How completely insensitive and sad. But I have read a lot that people who haven't gone through this expect that grieving should only take so long and then get better. They don't understand. I wouldn't have understood. Unfortunately, now I do.

You guys have a partner in me. If you need to talk please let me know. It's only been two weeks for me, but I feel like reaching out to those who understand seems to make me feel a little better.

God bless,
Liz

NinaLovingHim
June 16th, 2010, 21:43
Hi Liz So Sorry About Your Lost I Lost My Husband 1 Month Ago, Its Been Hard Still But Though The Grace Of God I Have Been Doing Ok Though ,The Dr Took Me Off Of Work For 3 Months To Give Me Time To Greive Because Its Hard For Me At Work Maybe Because I Work In A Hospital. But Liz Just Take It Day By Day Thats What I Have Been Doing And Talk About Him And Cry If You Need To It Helps Me, I Also Write In A Journal Daily And That Helps Me Alot. But If You Want To Talk, I Am Here For You.

Much Love
Nina

lizjoslyn
June 16th, 2010, 23:50
Nina - I sent you a private message.

I, too, work in a hospital. I will be working in the hospital that he passed away in as well. Not looking forward to that.