PDA

View Full Version : Loss of husband to cancer


mel
March 17th, 2010, 07:56
I lost my husband who was 60 years old we were married for 19 years been together 22 years i am 37 years old he was my soul mate and best friend and the best father. on February 21st 2010.
He had colon cancer he had an operatin last November to remove it and then was given all clear.
Then in he was starting chemo every other week they stopped it for a while as he became poorly again he also had another ct scan and were due to be given results on Monday 15th of feb My husband knew his cancer was back he was rushed into hospital on Sunday14th February I was given the news that cancer had spread to liver and stomach lining and was nothing they could do apart from making him comfortable they thought he was going to die that night so I brought our son up.He started to get better as he was dehydrated.I was up hospital all the time on Tuesday I asked if I could take him home the mc mallian people arranged for him to go home next day Wednesday at 4pm they took care of the hospital bed that had to be ordered and the carers He was in the living room every thing seemed fine but Sunday thye 21st he got worst doctor came in to give him something to relax him the buy 9pm his breathing slowed down I asked my son to come down i had two close family friends there aswell and he died at 9.30 pm

Motherof3
September 4th, 2011, 22:59
I just lost my husband to liver cancer on August 20th, he was 36. We have 3 little girls under 5. I was with him 18 years, 9 of them married. I am only 33 and don't know who I am without him. This pain is unbearable, I don't know how to cope. I miss him terribly, but you all know exactly what I feel. Everywhere I look I see something that reminds me of him, after 18 years together how can I not?
The hardest part right now is seeing my friends going on with their normal lives and I question why this has happened to me. And my thoughts are filled with all the pain and suffering he went through, when for so many years he was perfectly healthy and such a happy soul. This awful disease strips you of your humanity....
How are you all coping?

robs
September 6th, 2011, 19:07
I lost my wife last week to Melanoma cancer. She was a mother of two boys, ages 4 & 6. Just 39 years old.
It seems impossible to continue on without her.
Every morning i wake up scared and worried about taking care of my boys.
I have to go back to work at some point as I am the only one who can provide for them.
Coping is extremely hard right now. I cry everyday. I have lots of family around to help me out but they can only do so much.
Life will never be the same

tom-fisherman
September 7th, 2011, 13:22
Shalom in Yeshua Robs, I am sorry you have lost your wife to such a horrid disease, but may I ask that you start a new thread and tell us all about her. By doing this it will make it easier to get a picture of your needs.
I will some prayers for you and your family.

May God bless you
Tom

RoseannGaito
November 2nd, 2011, 19:22
My husband died last sat. at three pm October 29. We were together for 40 years and have an 11 year old son. He went to the doctors for a sore throat and found out after a scope he has esphogus cancer. He underwent chemo and radi with no help. Cancer spread to his hip then liver. Last visit to the doctor they suggested hospice to me which I am glad I did. They told him he has two months to live.
He became restless wanting to sit up in bed then down etc. went on for awhile. Finally I got him down and breathing normal with drugs that the hospice people told me to give him. I will never forget him looking at me with a strained face his breathing started to get deep I held him in my arms and told him its ok to go that me and our son will be ok. A calmness came over his face and he took his last breath. Was peaceful. I lost my best friend that day. I sure do miss him a lot. I will be burying him in a National Cemetery on Veterans Day..so fitting for him. He served in Vietnam and Saudi and when he got out of service aided in two wars plus 911 He is my hero. For everyone on here who lost a love one. Im sorry. I know your pain and I am glad they have sites like this.

RoseannGaito
November 2nd, 2011, 19:27
I lost my wife last week to Melanoma cancer. She was a mother of two boys, ages 4 & 6. Just 39 years old.
It seems impossible to continue on without her.
Every morning i wake up scared and worried about taking care of my boys.
I have to go back to work at some point as I am the only one who can provide for them.
Coping is extremely hard right now. I cry everyday. I have lots of family around to help me out but they can only do so much.
Life will never be the same

I am so sorry Rob. My son is 11 and he is my medication for going through the pain I feel. I too wake up to the scared moments. There have been days id wake up and feel he is still here. My family is out of state His work buddies are visiting me and talking funny stories about working with him which has helped too. I wish you the best hang in there. As I am trying..I heard things do get better but right now its only been a week for both of us..its hard.

cljm
November 3rd, 2011, 05:06
My heart feels the pain for those that lose a loved one----

For each of us, "we cannot always change the outcome, but we can hope to soften the journey."

RoseannGaito: No man stands taller than a Veteran. Those behind the granite of the Wall will welcome him. As each hand reaches out as a Brother, something that is known only to them, passes between.

robs: let your tears fall whenever they may---allow yourself the sadness and goodness of feeling their cleansing. Life won't ever be the same, but also too---even in your great loss, God continues his Blessings. Eternal rest for your wife and children's mother, and peace of heart for you and your boys.

" For every Joy that passes, something Beautiful remains"





Note: It does help, as tom-fishman says, to start a new thread unless responding to a post. It allows readers and posters to be more organized and specific in individual responses.

cbear94
November 3rd, 2011, 12:29
Its really nice to be able to read all these stories and know that there are other people that have been through similar situations that i have.
On July 9th 2011 i lost the most important person in my life, he was my role model, and my bestfriend. I lost my dad after he faught a long fight of cancer. when i was a freshman in high school he got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and they gave him about 4 months, and he was in and out of the hospital and doing chemo therapy and radiation. Over the years he got 2 nephrostomy tubes and he also had a colonoscopy bad. at such a young age i had to really grow up and mature being the only one there to take care of him. it was really hard doing it all on my own. but i loved every minute of it and i wouldnt take any of it back. im now studying to be a nurse for oncology. I can say that it is really hard going on everyday knowing that hes not here anymore.

cljm
November 3rd, 2011, 14:04
Its really nice to be able to read all these stories and know that there are other people that have been through similar situations that i have.
On July 9th 2011 i lost the most important person in my life, he was my role model, and my bestfriend. I lost my dad after he faught a long fight of cancer. when i was a freshman in high school he got diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and they gave him about 4 months, and he was in and out of the hospital and doing chemo therapy and radiation. Over the years he got 2 nephrostomy tubes and he also had a colonoscopy bad. at such a young age i had to really grow up and mature being the only one there to take care of him. it was really hard doing it all on my own. but i loved every minute of it and i wouldnt take any of it back. im now studying to be a nurse for oncology. I can say that it is really hard going on everyday knowing that hes not here anymore.

cbear94,

Ah...... a devastating loss for one so young as yourself.
Always know you are never alone. It is so good to be able to come to a board such as this-----we all share a bond of loss.

The greatest gift you could ever give your Dad was taking care of him. A time in your life that will be yours forever----knowing you gave of yourself in that way. It was a gift to yourself, as well.

Congratulations on your fine choice of study----that you take a sadness from your life and turn it into the giving to others---certainly the "gift" will live on. What a fine, fine son you are. Your Father would be proud !

" For every Joy that passes, something Beautiful remains"

hamilton
November 18th, 2011, 19:47
I'm so sorry for all of your losses.

I lost my girlfriend of 11+ years to this #@$% disease exactly one month ago. And I do mean exactly. It was roughly about now on 18 Oct she was drawing her last breath. It was the most horrible time of my life but I am glad I was there for her, both right then and generally in this unspeakably cruel time. She was not just my girlfriend, but my best friend, my partner, my world. She was far better than I deserved but I don't care, I want in fact need her back. Desperately. I am not close to my family or hers and live in her house (alone) now, also unemployed, so while I have friends, I am very much alone for the most part in a way I could not imagine. There are also many other circumstances surrounding this beyond simply the loss (as if that wasn't enough) which make this even harder - none I care to get into right now. But as someone else said, everywhere I turn I am reminded of her. It has been an extremely long month (and year) and I shudder to think of the months and years to come.

I wish you all the best.