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  #1  
Old May 23rd, 2012, 17:37
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Default "Rebuilding your life after you think you have lost everything" Part 2

Rebuilding your life continued from Part 1




5. The fifth step in rebuilding after a total loss is to re-evaluate.

You re-evaluate your life. It is after a major loss that you need to refocus and re-evaluate and re-define and say, What direction does God want me to take now? Disasters have a way of changing our direction, challenging our conception, and re-defining our values.
It is in a disaster we realize what matters most and what doesn’t matter most.
You will see who your true friends and family are when your world falls apart in your loss. And your faith is what will also help you get through the tough times to come...

Pain and suffering are unfortunate truths that show Life is fragile... short... and very non-permanent.We all take many things for granted in this life..
A Disaster or a deep loss clarifies what matters most in your life.


Unfortunately it takes a deep loss to get us all to realize this.. We cannot change what has happened leading to the event of our loss ...but it definitely prepares us to the fact that many more losses could also come... So we need to prioritize things a little more in depth... It is a hard life-lesson learned for all of us... A very bittersweet one we will never forget... being jolted from our innocense..


6. Refuse to be discouraged

Your trying to start over again on your own.....so you try to keep moving forward . What do you do when you can’t move or you feel like your stuck and sometimes fall back into your pain and misery of your loss?

You don’t get discouraged. What do you do when you feel can’t move forward anymore?

By standing firm you will gain life.”.”Sometimes you can’t even move in your pain and misery but you just stand and you stand firm.

That means you refuse to be discouraged.
The word “refused” means it’s a choice and it is.
Discouragement is like happiness. It’s your choice. You don’t have to be discouraged.
If you’re discouraged right now it’s because you’re choosing to be discouraged.
You don’t have to think discouraging thoughts. If you look at the world now as a long lonely road ...you’ll be distressed, if you look within and are finding only suffering and pain you’ll be depressed.. You alone hold the key to your recovery.....
It all depends on what you’re looking at. So you just stand firm in times when you can’t move forward when you feel trapped bya revisting of pain from your loss.

Life will begin again if you will let it.. It comes down to a matter of choice.. Pinning away for those who cannot be with you physically anymore and things you cannot change.. Or not giving up!! Picking up and begining a new life for yourself... Accepting the cruel hand you have been dealt.... You deserve to be happy... and your loved ones would want that for you as well.. They would want you to enjoy life not suffer ongoing pain and misery with their passing... Life is about many cycles...


7. You must reach out to others.

God has wired the universe that when we help other people ...He helps us!!!When you start helping others..... He heals you!!When you do it!!! Not then. It’s not about.... I’m going to get my act together...then I’ll start helping other people. No. It’s when..... not then.....It’s when you start to help other people,before your life’s all figured out. When you do that, God says, I see somebody interested in being like Me – helping others and being unselfish. Then God starts healing you. When and then. If you say, “I’ll wait until I get my act all together before... I help anybody else,” then you’re never going to help anybody because you’re never going to have it all together.
No. You start helping other people and that’s part of the healing process of recovering from a loss.
We’re blessed to be a blessing and what we sow we reap. The way God’s figured it out is the more we help other people the more He blesses us.

PAY......LOVE, COMPASSION, EMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING forward from your loss.. That alone will help you to heal but also offer the foundation you will need in this world to "REBUILD YOUR LIFE AGAIN"

I hope this has been able to help you... atleast a little on your path..


I wish you peace


Cal821
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Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this too, was a gift.

The new life we create after loss doesn’t put the grief behind. If we are wise, in time, the experience of loss softens and changes us, and our “gift” is helping others through the “darkness.”

"Mary Oliver"

Last edited by cal821 : January 16th, 2013 at 11:27.
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  #2  
Old June 10th, 2012, 17:38
Oonagh Oonagh is offline
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Hi Dave,

I've really enjoyed reading this information and it makes a lot of sense to me. Strangely enough, I was walking down to the shop yesterday, in the rain, and loving it. It made me realise how grateful I was for nature. The flowers looked beautiful, I picked a sprig of lavender and the perfume was divine ( I love lavender), I saw a little wren chirruping on a fence, and everything looked fresh and lovely. I even enjoyed the rain! Since Drew passed, I cant afford a car and so I'm walking a lot more. and enjoying it. I meet more people, even if it's just to say hello, and see more. So I do have a lot to be grateful for and yes, I'm still sad at losing my husband and my dad; I still cry at moments throughout the day; I still go through times when I feel that life is unfair but I also am very grateful for my time spent with both of them and especially for having a dad as special as mine.

It does bother me thinking about the future. Sometimes I can almost feel excited about it, but most of the time it's very scary. I feel very lost and as if I've lost all direction, but I have faith that, one day at a time, I will find my way. Others have done it, so I will too. I've been wanting to find myself a new career, something that I enjoy and also make a living out of. I'm not sure what it will be yet, but I'm doing some research.

Your words are quite correct,'' Rebuilding your life after YOU THINK you have lost everything''. It certainly feels that way, but gradually, I think we'll realise that we haven't lost everything and that life is definitely worth living. I guess it just takes time. I will never, ever forget Drew or my dad, they are in my heart forever, but they would be the first to say ' get on with living your life Gail'.

Thank you Dave.
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'When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight'

Kahlil Gibran.
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  #3  
Old June 11th, 2012, 15:48
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Smile Your Welcome...

You are most definitely welcome OOnagh... It is a great pleasure to see and hear that my rambling thoughts on recovery make sense lol.. I'm just glad I can offer up some information that makes sense and helps someone try to get back on track or help them to see there are always options.. This Life we live here is way too short as we all know to spend it pinning away for things to be the way we want them to be ... not the way they actually are.. But again you are welcome I'm glad I can help.

Cal821 ( Dave )
__________________
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this too, was a gift.

The new life we create after loss doesn’t put the grief behind. If we are wise, in time, the experience of loss softens and changes us, and our “gift” is helping others through the “darkness.”

"Mary Oliver"
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  #4  
Old January 21st, 2013, 16:35
cal821 cal821 is offline
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bumping to the top to follow part one for people reading this series of posts.

Thank you

Cal821
__________________
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this too, was a gift.

The new life we create after loss doesn’t put the grief behind. If we are wise, in time, the experience of loss softens and changes us, and our “gift” is helping others through the “darkness.”

"Mary Oliver"
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  #5  
Old January 22nd, 2013, 12:28
Im loving angels Im loving angels is offline
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Loved this, very true too. Love coming to this site always lifts me up. Thank you for that.
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  #6  
Old October 13th, 2013, 08:18
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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reposting part 11
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Old January 12th, 2014, 17:09
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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reposting part 11 x
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  #8  
Old January 12th, 2014, 19:56
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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reposting for you to read
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