Learning to grieve at a young age

[DefyingGravity]

I was introduced to the concept of death so early in my life, and learned to comfort others early.

When I was 5 years old, our family cat, which my mom had had for years, was very sick and needed to be "put down." I don't know that I understood completely, but I stroked my mother's hair while she cried.

When I was in 2nd grade, a friend's mother had a miscarriage, and I remember feeling sad for her family.

The first close family member who passed away was really a family friend, but was like a second mom to my mom. This happened during the summer between 4th and 5th grade, and devastated me.

I've lost quite a few loved ones, and it's never, ever easy, but I think my early experiences with grief helped me become who I am today, a compassionate person.

[Taggart]

I agree that the losses we experience can contribute to our compassion.

I'm sure your mother was comforted by you during her grieving process for her losses.

[janus76]

although we like to protect children from death they need to understand it at a young age otherwise when they get older they will not know how to deal with death

[nangel78]

I started learning when I was 7 and lost my great grandmother. It was a tough experience but I started to learn and grow from it at a young age.

[trick-r-treat]

You really don't know what it's like until you experience it yourself. It is good if you can really put yourself in their shoes.

[Calypso]

I think it's a good idea to teach kids about death from an early age on. Nature gives us plenty of examples--dead birds and insects on the sidewalk, plants that turn brown and shrivel up as the weather grows colder. The more matter-of-fact information kids have about death, the easier it will be to explain it to them when a loss becomes personal (like a beloved family pet or a grandparent).

[victell]

I think if a child is old enough to ask about death, they are old enough to hear the answer. My grandad died when I was 7 and I wish I'd been allowed to the funeral but I wasn't. It was all hushed up although I would have preferred to discuss the death and ask questions.

Death is natural and happens to everyone and everything. Children experience pets dying and leaves falling off the trees and I think they can grasp the concept better than many people realise, obviously depending on their age and what has happened.

[shay]

Originally Posted by janus76

although we like to protect children from death they need to understand it at a young age otherwise when they get older they will not know how to deal with death

That is SO true! I am 20 and no one close to me has died yet. (My grandfather is about to die though.) I have no clue how to deal with it. I tend to put it at the back of my mind and pretend it isn't real...I guess that's what they call "denial"

[xavvy5]

I often comment to my husband how much "death" our children have been exposed to at a young age. They never knew their grandmother (my husbands mother) they lost their great grandfather a year ago, and a family dog among other things.

Its somewhat sad they've had to experience it but we are always honest with them about it, and I don't think its a bad thing as far as them learning coping mechanisms for grief as they get older

[sacback]

Treating your kids like they aren't smart is only going to back fire. We have to learn that kids understand better than we think they do. They are jadded by the world so we have to give them more credit than what we do. Learning to grieve happens over time but the early you get your hands on it, the better you will be with it.