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Old September 27th, 2011, 15:37
natalie44 natalie44 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1
Default Trying to keep a float but struggling

I recently lost a close friend (a few weeks ago) and Im dealing with a strong force of emotions Ive never experienced before. On the outside I feel like I have to act as though Im fine but on the inside, its a very different story. I can't accept that I will never see my friend again, hear her voice or be there to see all the special things that were due in her life. She had never made any attempt to end her life before, even looking back now, I can't find any indication that she even considered it and yet I am sat here now wishing with all of my heart that she was still here. She was always so lively; so bubbly and so loud and it hurts so bad right now. Im in no way angry with her for leaving, Im angry with myself for not picking up on it and Im angry generally with the people around me, they go about their lives now like she didn't exist and expect me to "just forget". How can I forget someone who meant so much to me??
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Old September 28th, 2011, 11:40
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534

Shalom in Yeshua Natalie44, I am sorry that the death of your friend has affected you in this way. Know that I have already said a prayer for you to be comforted.

It is always very sad when anyone dies, let alone when they take their own life. This leave those that are left with thoughts of what if....
Invariably we feel the pain of not being in a position of doing something to prevent or make a difference for them. Sadly the truth is that we could have done nothing to prevent it.

There must have been some sadness or depression in her life to cause her to do this. Perhaps you would like to tell us a little about her. By doing this you will be sharing your pain with others and that will help you in the long run.

Please don't feel angry with yourself, you wouldn't have been able to prevent it, unless she wanted you too. With regard to the people around you don't be angry with them either, they haven't forgotten they just don't know how to handle it.

Finally don't try to forget her. That's not the best way to grieve, instead don't think of how she died but the special happy times you had together as friends. You will need to talk about it and you will need someone to talk too. If you haven't you can always talk here. We all want to help you through this.

May God bless you
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Old July 11th, 2012, 10:02
heavenlygirl heavenlygirl is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 51

That is so very hard. I have lost two friends to suicide, one that I should have seen and one that I could not have. I agree with others though that there is nothing you can do to prevent or stop someone who is looking to end their life. They find a way. If there are no signs, how are you to know? I am so very sorry for your loss!
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