a difficult one...
I had cut ties with a friend when the friendships crossed boundaries, he was single - I was married with children. It didn't change how I felt only that I could no longer be in his life in any way. He was an incredible man - a man who's mind was so knowing, his ways so unique. He was local to me and I would occasionally see him, but never to speak to again. I hadn't seen him for a while and was worried, i found out he had had a stoke, an amputation, he had attempted suicide and had been drinking heavily - i knew this chance would be the only time to let him know that he was never from my mind, i did get a card to him through a mutual friend,, but never heard back, although later found out he wanted to speak to me, no one told me closure some may say. A month later he was found dead. His body has gone to coroners, I do not know when the funeral service is, i don't know whether to try and go - so scared that i may jeopadise my marriage, i thought of just sending flowers, or even seeing if i could see him at the funeral parlour. or whether i should just say he has gone and that is that. i am struggling so hard to just accept as i know this is my last chance. I cannot grieve in the normal way because of course the circumstances are not typical.
i thought maybe flowers to the service 'forget me nots' x thankyou for listening x