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  #11  
Old July 17th, 2013, 15:09
Helpheartsheal Helpheartsheal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubysbaby View Post
Helpheartsheal,

I apparently missed this original post. I'm older than you and have experienced the same feeling. I realize that none of my friends that I'm closest to (like you I have none that I can call on the spot to be there) have lost a mom, but just making themselves available would be helpful. I was close to a group of friends until about 5 years ago. I started to become fearful of being alone when my closest friend (my mom) became ill. I have my sister also and now she's experiencing some health problems so it's hard not to feel helpless. When people that call on me say they need me I am the first to drop what I'm doing and be there. It would be nice to receive the same treatment. I have made an effort to reach out but people still seem too busy. I have this forum and another forum where I can find some comfort on my lowest days.
Yeah that is true. I know they don't totally understand how I feel, but I just want someone to talk to. Maybe this forum is what I need.
thank you
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  #12  
Old July 17th, 2013, 15:11
Helpheartsheal Helpheartsheal is offline
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Originally Posted by heavenlygirl View Post
It's very hard to find/have friends that get it - I honestly think that comes along very rarely in life. Unfortunately it's often during the lowest moments in our life that we find out who our true friends are. Sending hugs!
Its just so soul destroying when you are there for everyone else, but no one is there for you.
Just hard to cope by yourself
x
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  #13  
Old July 18th, 2013, 08:03
j's daughter j's daughter is offline
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Hi helpheartsheal,

Sorry I missed your original post. I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. You are not alone, although I know it feels that way at times. Yes, this is a good place to come to talk. It's an international forum, so some of us read and post at odd hours. I'm in Canada, and I know there is a time difference from UK.

I lost my father in 1988. My brother in 1998. And most recently my Mom in 2010. All of my family aunts, uncles, cousins etc. in addition to both parents and a brother gone now. So I do know a little bit about loss, and about being on your own. I, too, am on my own at 65, older than you. I do sometimes think about the rest of my life alone, since I have few friends that I can really share such concerns with. Yet, this is the reality of many people's lives. We are not all jolly, outgoing "joiners" and we don't all happily get into groups and circles of caring friends as an alternative to being alone. I do believe that life is what we make it. I've always preferred to be a bit of a loner, a bit independent, and this is the result. My mother was my best friend. I looked after her during the last 3 years of her life, and when she died I found myself on my own.

Took a while, but I've slowly been carving out a life, and I can say, even as solitary as life is, I am content.

You needn't try to cope by yourself all the time. From time time, it's good to chat with other people, and to help others and be helped by others along the grief path. This forum is good for that. People here do care about other people here. And please do feel free to contact me via private message. I read and respond to everyone who does that. Sometimes just to chat, just to check in and see how you are doing that day.

Please don't feel you are alone, or on your own, all the time. Working through your grief at losing someone important ... well, that's hard to do, whether you have a million friends or one.

I am interested in how other people spend their day, especially others on their own. And if I can help, just by listening, just by being someone to check in with, and get a response from, I do that. It helps me, too, to be not so isolated.

I always try to remind people who've lost a Mom or Dad, you are still your parent's daughter. You are not alone so long as you have your memories alongside you.

Feel free to post here again, or to contact me privately.
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  #14  
Old July 21st, 2013, 13:49
Helpheartsheal Helpheartsheal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by j's daughter View Post
Hi helpheartsheal,

Sorry I missed your original post. I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. You are not alone, although I know it feels that way at times. Yes, this is a good place to come to talk. It's an international forum, so some of us read and post at odd hours. I'm in Canada, and I know there is a time difference from UK.

I lost my father in 1988. My brother in 1998. And most recently my Mom in 2010. All of my family aunts, uncles, cousins etc. in addition to both parents and a brother gone now. So I do know a little bit about loss, and about being on your own. I, too, am on my own at 65, older than you. I do sometimes think about the rest of my life alone, since I have few friends that I can really share such concerns with. Yet, this is the reality of many people's lives. We are not all jolly, outgoing "joiners" and we don't all happily get into groups and circles of caring friends as an alternative to being alone. I do believe that life is what we make it. I've always preferred to be a bit of a loner, a bit independent, and this is the result. My mother was my best friend. I looked after her during the last 3 years of her life, and when she died I found myself on my own.

Took a while, but I've slowly been carving out a life, and I can say, even as solitary as life is, I am content.

You needn't try to cope by yourself all the time. From time time, it's good to chat with other people, and to help others and be helped by others along the grief path. This forum is good for that. People here do care about other people here. And please do feel free to contact me via private message. I read and respond to everyone who does that. Sometimes just to chat, just to check in and see how you are doing that day.

Please don't feel you are alone, or on your own, all the time. Working through your grief at losing someone important ... well, that's hard to do, whether you have a million friends or one.

I am interested in how other people spend their day, especially others on their own. And if I can help, just by listening, just by being someone to check in with, and get a response from, I do that. It helps me, too, to be not so isolated.

I always try to remind people who've lost a Mom or Dad, you are still your parent's daughter. You are not alone so long as you have your memories alongside you.

Feel free to post here again, or to contact me privately.
Thank you so much for your message...you don't realise how much your words have comforted me.
I really appreciate it
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