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  #1  
Old June 6th, 2012, 12:21
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Default "Trying to find Humor When Everything Still Seems Darkest"

The above title may seem inappropriate to some. “Death is not funny,” they might think. The idea of laughing at a time of loss seems antithetical to the emotional upheaval the bereaved is feeling.


I have thought about this for quite a while and researched this heavily....I think one of the best tools that you can use to help yourself in the journey back is "HUMOR" It helps release more pain when you can find something so funny" It brings you to tears in your laughter".

"Laughter heals. Humor is not just fun. It is an extremely powerful “medicine” that heals the soul and mends the body. Humor is a revival, a mini vacation, a breath of fresh air, a way to cope. Humor can allow the pain to subside for a moment, make life more bearable, put perspective on situations, and allow us to laugh at ourselves and our situations. It gives us power over what might seem like an impossible or powerless situation."

It may seem difficult to laugh and find joy in our losses when our hearts are heavy with sorrow, but when we give ourselves permission to feel joy, happiness and laughter in our sorrow, our losses take on a more complete and healing integration. We can tap into those layers of humor as well as the layers of pain and sorrow.

We might think it is irreligious or in some way devalues our loss if we put a humorous spin on it. Instead, it balances our sorrow with joy. It takes the sting out of our loss and brings normalcy back into our life. It takes an intolerable situation, one packed with intense emotions, flips it over and “tickles its tummy”. Humor takes the edge off pain. ( " In My case I can just hear my wife Tammy saying.. I got here first..... So get over it already!" ).. That brings a smile to my face thinking that...

We can choose to look at the world in a positive way or negative way. A loss by its very nature demands the normal grieving process. But even within its tenants, we have the ability to laugh.


So In thinking on this further and bringing it into a healthy perspective.... laughter and humor are key elements in helping us go on with our life after a loss. I am not saying that grief is not important. But prolonged grief can be detrimental. Tears bring us down.

Laughter brings us up. Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

Humor allows us to cope with pain in three ways:

...When we are dealing with death, we are constantly being dragged down by the event: Humor diverts our attention and lifts our sagging spirits.

...Dealing with death is stressful: Humor decreases our stress and tension.

...In the midst of death, life feels out of balance: Humor provides fresh perspective and power in a powerless situation.

When we are in pain and wish that something would "take us away", humor does exactly that. It may before only a brief moment but it distracts us from our pain and gives us hope to embrace life again. If we can laugh again, we can live again.


Try to think back on the funny times with your loved ones.. when you laughed until you cried with your loved one.. Hold on to that moment .. cherrish it.. "That memory is a building block in the new foundation moving forward into the future of your new life"...


As Always I wish to help you on your journey by giving you information to think on..


I wish you Hope and Peace..


Cal821
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Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...

Cal821

Last edited by cal821 : June 6th, 2012 at 14:35.
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  #2  
Old June 6th, 2012, 16:04
gumek gumek is offline
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Default laughter

Thanks again dave, i grew up laughting at the Marx brothers, Laurel and Hardy,Tony Hancock,does any body remember the sketch, "The blood donor"? Morcoombe and wise, Tommy Cooper, but a few, dave at chritmas we were allowed to watch some of the above and we laughed till we cried, sadly a lot of humor on telly and in films today are at anothers expence, not funny at all.

Yes yes yes, when all else fails find something funny to laugh at. good on ya.

chrissie. xx
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  #3  
Old June 6th, 2012, 16:30
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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i remember the blood donor (repete of course) there are no funny comediens any more but if i want a laugh i watch only fools and horses doesn't matter how many times you watch it still has you in stitches hazelxx
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Old June 6th, 2012, 18:03
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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i know these films look ancient to some but my favourite film star (robert de niro 2nd)cary grant even though they are quite old some of them are hilarious john candy one of those men who made you smile to even look at him in the great outdoors watched evan almighty recently that was funny i shall have to think of some more hazelxx
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  #5  
Old June 6th, 2012, 18:08
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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sorry dave you wouldn't get this in canada but had (idiot abroad )at christmas that was hilarious i don't like ricky gervais humour he doesn't make me laugh at all but karl pilkinton very very funny i even have his smiley orange teashirt will send you the dvd if you want it hazelxx
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  #6  
Old June 6th, 2012, 19:33
cal821 cal821 is offline
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Default Hi Hazel

Yes I watch An Idiot Abroad quite a bit on HBO.. Quite a halarious show actually..

Cal821 ( Dave )
__________________
Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.

I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...

Cal821
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  #7  
Old June 7th, 2012, 14:12
gumek gumek is offline
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Default love it too

Quote:
Originally Posted by cal821 View Post
Yes I watch An Idiot Abroad quite a bit on HBO.. Quite a halarious show actually..

Cal821 ( Dave )
dave you like idiot abroad? i love it, laugh, he's such a good example of some of us brits abroad, hahahahah.
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  #8  
Old June 7th, 2012, 14:23
gumek gumek is offline
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Default bloo donar

Quote:
Originally Posted by hazelharris View Post
i remember the blood donor (repete of course) there are no funny comediens any more but if i want a laugh i watch only fools and horses doesn't matter how many times you watch it still has you in stitches hazelxx
Tony hancock was one of the british greats wasn't he hazel?

idiot abroad, hillarious, fools and horses, vicar of dibley, remember the christmas one, she was so stuffed she was carried by tractor two doors up,hahahah. and fools and horses the chandalier with grandad?
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  #9  
Old June 7th, 2012, 14:28
gumek gumek is offline
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Default just remembered

Quote:
Originally Posted by hazelharris View Post
i remember the blood donor (repete of course) there are no funny comediens any more but if i want a laugh i watch only fools and horses doesn't matter how many times you watch it still has you in stitches hazelxx
back again, just remembered Frasier, such a snob, love it. xxx
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  #10  
Old July 31st, 2015, 12:11
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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Default

reminded by this post how at times we helped one another and found some laughter amongst the sadness x
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