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  #1  
Old August 11th, 2007, 10:48
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Default My Aunt

One hard family loss for me was the death of my aunt several years ago. She and I had become very close, especially after her husband's death when I spent a couple of weeks with her helping her get through the funeral and start the laborious task of filing for his life insurance, pension, etc.

She was also the first member of my family to figure out that I was a lesbian and to tell me she didn't think there was anything wrong with that.

Before she died, she became confused and forgetful and no longer recognized me, which hurt a lot. In many ways her death was a relief, but I still miss her the way she was.
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  #2  
Old August 13th, 2007, 08:51
cassiem0221 cassiem0221 is offline
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I think that this must be one of the more difficult deaths to deal with. When someone you love dearly is indifferent to you, it is very hard to cope with. Just know that she is much better off now. I know that her accepting that you were a lesbian probably brought you that much closer to her since there are so many people who cannot accept that. Just know that she is well now and take comfort in that.
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Old August 23rd, 2007, 23:34
Calypso Calypso is offline
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I know you're right that it's good she's not suffering any more, but I still miss her. We both adored cats, and every time I see an especially cute cat figurine or a cat calendar (our standard yearly Christmas gift to each other), I think of her, not in a bad way, but kind of wistfully, wishing she were still here to laugh over the antics of my new kitten or the stubbornness of my old cat.
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Old August 25th, 2007, 10:39
janus76 janus76 is offline
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this must hjave been a very hard time for you but the one thing you have to hold onto is your memories of her when she was well and not what she was like towards the end
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Old August 26th, 2007, 11:18
Taggart Taggart is offline
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Having a loved one not recognize you is something I haven't really thought about. It must be very difficult.

I know someone who really doesn't know how long his mother hadn't been recognizing him, because when he'd come to visit her, she'd say non-committal things like "Look who's here" without using names.
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  #6  
Old August 26th, 2007, 23:23
cassiem0221 cassiem0221 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso View Post
I know you're right that it's good she's not suffering any more, but I still miss her. We both adored cats, and every time I see an especially cute cat figurine or a cat calendar (our standard yearly Christmas gift to each other), I think of her, not in a bad way, but kind of wistfully, wishing she were still here to laugh over the antics of my new kitten or the stubbornness of my old cat.
I know what you are feeling in that part... My grandmother will have died 1 year ago on September 2nd and I still go to the store and see something with angels etc and think... Oh I should buy this for Granny... but she isn't her eto buy for. I miss her dearly.
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Old August 31st, 2007, 21:05
Calypso Calypso is offline
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I always have a hard time around the holidays. Gift giving is a big tradition in my family, and I always see things I would love to buy for loved ones who have gone before. A couple of times, I've almost cried right in the middle of the Mall. So much for holiday spirit, eh?
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Old September 4th, 2007, 22:42
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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"This too shall pass"
Thanks for sharing this Calypso. It sounds like your aunt was a down to earth lady that understood what family and unconditional love are all about. It still hurts and makes you cry, but in time you'll be able to smile and laugh through the tears.
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  #9  
Old September 6th, 2007, 06:44
Taggart Taggart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso View Post
I always have a hard time around the holidays. Gift giving is a big tradition in my family, and I always see things I would love to buy for loved ones who have gone before. A couple of times, I've almost cried right in the middle of the Mall. So much for holiday spirit, eh?
I think most of us know someone who doesn't like the holidays. I'd expect most of them have some painful memories attached to the season, whether it's loss of life or a family breakup.

I find the holiday season definitely reminds me of friends and family who've passed away, but in my case I still enjoy the music, decorations, traditions and happy memories.
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  #10  
Old September 10th, 2007, 12:19
Sunnycharacter Sunnycharacter is offline
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When I lost my nephews, 2 different times, both teens, car crashes, it was very difficult. I think because they had not been sick, but such sad circumstances so abrupt. I think that makes it harder for me.
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