Letting Go Of A Young One
LETTING GO OF A YOUNG ONE
A young boy had been in the world of spirit for some time, without ever joining into anything. Although time does not exist in that world, for better understanding we shall use this term here. Can you picture him being seated on a bench in a beautiful park with beds full of beautifully coloured and scented flower and great swathes of lush verdant grass? He is watching some children playing together nearby, and it is easy to see that he dearly wishes he could join them; yet, he remains seated on his bench. Despite being away from home, he feels a deep sense of peace. Because he is surrounded by so much love and warmth, he feels at home and safe; he instinctively knows that this is a good place, where everybody is safe.
A lady dressed in white joins the children and gives each one a big hug. She tells them that everything is fine here; that there is no need for them to suffer any more; and that she is now going to show them around. She beckons the children and shows them a wonderful playground. All but one get up and skip over to her, join hands and start singing and dancing with joy. The little boy is still sitting on his bench. Watching the other children enjoying themselves is making him sad and his head is down.
To find out what is wrong with him, the lady joins him and asks: ‘Why aren’t you coming to play with the others?’ He replies: ‘I have been here for a while and have tried to go with you and the other children to the playground, but each time I get up, my mother starts to cry and I feel her sadness like an iron grip on me. That’s why I stay here by the gate to comfort her. My Angel tells me that I have to continue to do this until she lets me go.’ Looking towards the wonderful world ahead of him, and the children he cannot join, his sadness returns and his head goes down again. But then, all of a sudden his eyes light up and he asks the lady: ‘Do you think you could ask the Angels to give my mother a message that I am safe and that I shall always love her, so she can let go of me?’ The lady smiles and replies: ‘I will do my best.’
And do you know something? The Angels inspired this story especially for you – and everybody else who has ever lost a young one. Their advice is that you feel your love for the one who has gone from you in your heart and acknowledge it. But know that love is eternal and that the loving bond that once was between the two of you will always be; that it cannot die and therefore will be yours to call upon, whenever you feel you need it. Grieve for a while, but then let the loved one go and set them free.
Edited by Aquarius
From 'Comfort for the Bereaved'
Our world is bound in darkness, until we shine the light;
You, with your own vision – and I, with my insight.
Author of ‘The Random Jottings of a Stargazer’
And the Astro Files
Last edited by Aquarius : March 15th, 2010 at 16:35.
Draw Closer to God...
Coping With Grief
“All his [Jacob’s] sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. ‘No,’ he said, ‘in mourning will I go down to the grave to my son.’ So his father wept for him.”—GENESIS 37:35, The Holy Bible—New International Version.
THE patriarch Jacob grieved deeply over the loss of his son. He expected to grieve until the day he died. Like Jacob, you may feel that the pain of losing a loved one is so deep that it will never go away. Does such intense grief necessarily indicate a lack of faith in God? Definitely not!
The Bible portrays Jacob as a man of faith. Along with his grandfather Abraham and his father, Isaac, Jacob is commended for his outstanding faith. (Hebrews 11:8, 9, 13) Why, on one occasion, he even wrestled all night with an angel to get a blessing from God! (Genesis 32:24-30) Evidently, Jacob was a deeply spiritual man. What, then, can we learn from Jacob’s grief? Deep feelings of grief and sorrow when a loved one dies are not incompatible with strong faith in God. Grief is the normal and natural response to the loss of someone we love.
What Is Grief?
Grief can affect us in various ways, but for many the overriding feeling is one of intense emotional pain. Consider the experience of Leonardo, who was 14 years old when his father suddenly died from cardiorespiratory problems. Leonardo will never forget the day his aunt broke the news to him. At first, he refused to believe that it was true. He saw his father’s body at the funeral, but it all seemed strangely unreal. For about six months, Leonardo was unable to cry. Often, he found himself waiting for his father to come home from work. It took about a year before the full impact of the loss sank in. When it did, he felt terribly alone. Ordinary things—such as coming home to an empty house—reminded him of his father’s absence. At such times, he often broke down and cried. How he missed his father!
As Leonardo’s experience well illustrates, grief can be intense. The good news is that recovery is possible. However, it may take some time. Just as a severe physical wound takes time to heal, so it is with bereavement. Recovering from grief may take months, a few years, or even longer. But the acute pain you feel in the beginning will lessen in time, and life will gradually seem less bleak and meaningless.
In the meantime, grief is said to be a necessary part of the healing process and of learning to adapt to the new situation. There is an empty space where before there was a living human. We need to adjust to life without that person. Grief may provide a necessary emotional release. Of course, not everyone grieves in exactly the same way. One thing, though, seems to hold true: Repressing your grief can be harmful mentally, emotionally, and physically. How, then, can you express your grief in healthy ways? The Bible contains some practical advice.
Coping With Grief
Talking about your feelings can bring a measure of relief
Many bereaved ones have found that talking can be a helpful release. Notice, for example, the words of the Bible character Job, who suffered the loss of all ten of his children and endured other tragedies. He said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Notice that Job needed to “give vent” to his concerns. How would he do so? “I will speak,” he explained.
Paulo, who lost his mother, says: “One of the things that has helped me is to talk about my mother.” So talking about your feelings to a trusted friend can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) After losing her mother, Yone asked her Christian brothers to visit her more often. “Talking helped to ease the pain,” she recalls. You too may find that putting your feelings into words and sharing them with a sympathetic listener will make it easier to deal with them.
Writing can be helpful in expressing grief
Writing can also be a helpful release. Some who find it difficult to talk about their feelings may find it easier to express themselves in writing. Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, the faithful man David wrote a deeply mournful song in which he poured out his sorrow. This emotional dirge eventually became part of the Bible book of Second Samuel.—2 Samuel 1:17-27.
Reading about the resurrection hope can be a real source of comfort
Crying may also serve as an emotional release. “For everything there is an appointed time, even . . . a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) To be sure, the death of someone we love is “a time to weep.” Tears of grief are nothing to be embarrassed about. The Bible contains many examples of faithful men and women who openly expressed their grief by weeping. (Genesis 23:2; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12) Jesus Christ “gave way to tears” when he neared the tomb of his dear friend Lazarus, who had recently died.—John 11:33, 35.
Working through grief takes patience, for you may feel that you are on an emotional roller coaster. Remember that you do not have to be ashamed of your tears. Many faithful individuals have found that shedding tears of grief is a normal and necessary part of the healing process.
Draw Close to God
The Bible tells us: “Draw close to God, and he will draw close to you.” (James 4:8) One of the principal ways to draw close to God is through prayer. Do not underestimate its value! The Bible makes this comforting promise: “Jehovah is near to those that are broken at heart; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves.” (Psalm 34:18) It also assures us: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you.” (Psalm 55:22) Think about this. As we noted earlier, many have found it helpful to talk about their feelings with a trusted friend. Would it not be even more helpful to pour out your feelings to the God who promises to comfort our hearts?—2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17.
Paulo, who was mentioned earlier, commented: “When I just couldn’t endure the pain anymore and felt that I could not cope, I would get down on my knees and pray to God. I begged him to help me.” Paulo is convinced that his prayers made a difference. You too may find that in response to your persistent prayers, “the God of all comfort” will give you the courage and the strength to cope.—2 Corinthians 1:3, 4; Romans 12:12.
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