The Light Beyond Bereavement Forum Bereavement StoreMovieBlogSympathy Ecards
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own...

Go Back   The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums > Coping with grief > Grieving children
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old July 1st, 2007, 19:59
DefyingGravity DefyingGravity is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 30
Default Learning to grieve at a young age

I was introduced to the concept of death so early in my life, and learned to comfort others early.

When I was 5 years old, our family cat, which my mom had had for years, was very sick and needed to be "put down." I don't know that I understood completely, but I stroked my mother's hair while she cried.

When I was in 2nd grade, a friend's mother had a miscarriage, and I remember feeling sad for her family.

The first close family member who passed away was really a family friend, but was like a second mom to my mom. This happened during the summer between 4th and 5th grade, and devastated me.

I've lost quite a few loved ones, and it's never, ever easy, but I think my early experiences with grief helped me become who I am today, a compassionate person.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old July 29th, 2007, 08:14
Taggart Taggart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 189
Default

I agree that the losses we experience can contribute to our compassion.

I'm sure your mother was comforted by you during her grieving process for her losses.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old August 2nd, 2007, 05:56
janus76 janus76 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 37
Default

although we like to protect children from death they need to understand it at a young age otherwise when they get older they will not know how to deal with death
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old August 3rd, 2007, 09:01
nangel78 nangel78 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 36
Default

I started learning when I was 7 and lost my great grandmother. It was a tough experience but I started to learn and grow from it at a young age.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old August 3rd, 2007, 10:12
trick-r-treat trick-r-treat is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 57
Default

You really don't know what it's like until you experience it yourself. It is good if you can really put yourself in their shoes.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old August 10th, 2007, 19:34
Calypso Calypso is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 205
Default

I think it's a good idea to teach kids about death from an early age on. Nature gives us plenty of examples--dead birds and insects on the sidewalk, plants that turn brown and shrivel up as the weather grows colder. The more matter-of-fact information kids have about death, the easier it will be to explain it to them when a loss becomes personal (like a beloved family pet or a grandparent).
__________________
Writers and readers are welcome at
www.debrastang.net
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old October 12th, 2007, 14:03
victell victell is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 19
Default

I think if a child is old enough to ask about death, they are old enough to hear the answer. My grandad died when I was 7 and I wish I'd been allowed to the funeral but I wasn't. It was all hushed up although I would have preferred to discuss the death and ask questions.

Death is natural and happens to everyone and everything. Children experience pets dying and leaves falling off the trees and I think they can grasp the concept better than many people realise, obviously depending on their age and what has happened.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old October 13th, 2007, 02:02
shay shay is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 52
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by janus76 View Post
although we like to protect children from death they need to understand it at a young age otherwise when they get older they will not know how to deal with death
That is SO true! I am 20 and no one close to me has died yet. (My grandfather is about to die though.) I have no clue how to deal with it. I tend to put it at the back of my mind and pretend it isn't real...I guess that's what they call "denial"
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old October 13th, 2007, 10:25
xavvy5 xavvy5 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9
Default

I often comment to my husband how much "death" our children have been exposed to at a young age. They never knew their grandmother (my husbands mother) they lost their great grandfather a year ago, and a family dog among other things.

Its somewhat sad they've had to experience it but we are always honest with them about it, and I don't think its a bad thing as far as them learning coping mechanisms for grief as they get older
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old January 16th, 2008, 11:02
sacback sacback is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 24
Default

Treating your kids like they aren't smart is only going to back fire. We have to learn that kids understand better than we think they do. They are jadded by the world so we have to give them more credit than what we do. Learning to grieve happens over time but the early you get your hands on it, the better you will be with it.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:45.


Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at www.thelightbeyond.com