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  #1  
Old March 29th, 2012, 02:24
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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Unhappy My Brother

I should probably start by letting you all know I'm a teenager. I've exprianced lots of deaths in the family but the last one was by far the hardest. Last month (18th Feb) my older brother Mikey killed himself. I should have known something was wrong with him as after we lost his twin brother Jason and Mikey's girlfriend Danielle (all to suicide) I should have been keeping a better look out for him.
Mikey's daughter Amie (2 at the time) found him in living room with pills and drink around him, she paniced and started screaming, her next door neighbour went into Mikey's house to see if Amie was alright. When she saw Mikey lying there not moving, the woman took Amie into another room and phoned the police.
I learned about all of this in an interview room at school. It was awful but I can't help thinking I could have saved Mikey.
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  #2  
Old March 29th, 2012, 10:57
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua Crystal230995, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your brothers Mikey, Jason and Mikey's girlfriend Danielle. So much suffering here. Know that I have already said some prayers for you to be comforted.

When we loose someone, particularly to suicide it always promotes guilt in us, but I can assure your that there was nothing you could have done to prevent them doing what they did to themselves. I do such a drastic thing shows the despair and depression they must have been in.

Please tell us more about them as this will help you by talking about them. Try not to focus on their deaths but the happy times you had as children together. It is very important to talk about it, and I know there is a discomfort in doing so but it does help. How are your parents they must be in great despair? Please tell them that I have said prayers said for them.

If you cannot talk to your family then please come here and tell us how you feel. It is totally anonymous and we all want to help you. Also don't forget you call always call Childline they are trained counsellors who will also do what they can for you.

May God bless you
Tom
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  #3  
Old March 30th, 2012, 10:14
hazel hazel is offline
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my heart broke for you when i read your message and young as you are you have been through so much grief at my age i know when someone dies we all try to find something to beat ourselves up over and if there is nothing we try to find something and yours is could i have saved him well the answer is no so stop punishing yourself we all make choices in life and they are ours alone the mistakes we all make are ours alone and the good we can do for others are our choices we make to a better life.the bad and good that happen to us we take with us through life and his love will be carried with you i know you will not realise this but his passing has not just left you with this awful grief but you will have compassion in your future for other people as you remember this awful time in your life depression can be an illness and you must talk to others who you are close to i know young men can find it difficult to talk of their feelings to others and you may be surprised to find your friends will listen and as you talk it will help you. hazel
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Old April 1st, 2012, 14:18
hazel hazel is offline
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how are you today i have been thinking about you i hope you don't feel alone i have had so much comfort from this site and all the people here really care please let us know how you are love to you hazel
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  #5  
Old April 15th, 2012, 05:34
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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Thanks It's aprechiated. It's been really hard but I'm trying not to let it hurt too much as I know they wouldn't want for me to be hurting. Any ideas on how to help my 3 year old niece?
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Old April 15th, 2012, 10:19
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi chrystal there may be people on this site that may be able to help you with advice on how to handle such a devistating trauma that your neice will be suffering tom fisherman is one i advise you to get in touch with i think she will need expert help from people that deal with childrens trauma she will have deep rooted fears with what she has seen that may not even show on the surface in a 3 year old.and you may need this expert advice yourself in how to deal with it it.s a very delicate situation and you are right to be so concerned for her as how you handle it will undoubtably affect her whole future in the way you go forward i think you are very brave and intelligent i always think it's good to be honest with children but in a 3 year old you will have to be very careful how you answer their questions hazel
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Old April 16th, 2012, 11:40
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua Crystal230995, I am happy that you are taking such a positive approach to the loss of your brothers. Can you tell me if your 3yrs old niece was the daughter of Jason or Mikey and Danielle, and who is responsible for her now.

I feel sure that having a caring aunt like you is the best thing she can have right now. Try not to worry to much, because children at this age can be very resilient. What we all need is love. Show her this and spend time with her. Let her open up to you when she wants to talk and then be honest with her. You will both be in my prayers.

May God bless you
Tom
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Old April 19th, 2012, 05:25
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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She was Mikey's daughter and I'm responciable for her.
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Old April 19th, 2012, 11:49
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
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Shalom in Yeshua Crystal230995, first a sorry!! You had already told us that in your first message.

How fortunate Amie is to have you. Can you tell us do you have any other family support to help you with Amie? You also ask for ideas so you can help her, what are the issues you need help with?

You have been in my thoughts and prayers for sometime now. You are among friends who want to help you, just let us know what you need.

May God bless you
Tom
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  #10  
Old April 20th, 2012, 08:21
Crystal230995 Crystal230995 is offline
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The family are trying to help with Amie but she won't talk to anyone besides me. I need help on how to help her realise what's happened and reinforcing to her that it's not her fault as I feel I'm giving her mixed signals as I'll tell Amie it's not her fault but then I'll beat myself up over their deaths. Also how can I help her move on from this when I'm stuck in the past?

Last edited by Crystal230995 : April 20th, 2012 at 12:11.
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