The Light Beyond Bereavement Forum Bereavement StoreMovieBlogSympathy Ecards
Kindness in another's trouble, courage in your own...

Go Back   The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums > Loss of a loved one > Loss of a sibling
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old September 15th, 2013, 21:43
Kira Kira is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2
Angry Little sister died in car accident

My little sister was 23 when she died in a car accident a little over a month ago coming back home from the store about 5-10 minutes away from the house. She ran off the road and over-corrected coming back on causing her car to flip apparently once and was killed instantly from what the coroner says. Our child hood had been pretty bad and she had been molested and had made some bad choices as an adult that had lead her to be very depressed, but she'd recently had a child who is now 2 and had gotten a divorce from her 2nd husband. Her first husband committed suicide in 2010 and she never got over it. About a month before she died, her ex was making her really depressed and she went to her first husband's grave and swung a box cutter to try to "kill herself" but when she saw the blood she "realized I didn't wanna die and wanted to be there for my baby". This is crushing to me. We went through a lot together and my whole life has completely changed in one instant. We were not allowed to view her body because of the extensive damage to her head, so there is little closure there. It all feels so wrong and I can't stop thinking so many bad thoughts like of her body being under the ground rotting and everyone else around me dying or dying myself. When I am at work the only reason I can make myself stay there is because I think "I have to pay for my funeral". I am so scared to die as well and I feel bad for it since she had to and I am older than her so I feel I should have faced it first. I keep trying to study things and jam so much information into my mind lately trying to find a way to live and not be afraid of death. How do you get through it? How do you get past it?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old September 16th, 2013, 10:46
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534
Default

Shalom in Yeshua Kira and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear of the death of your sister and the way that it is making you feel. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us.

It is quite common for grieving relatives to ponder on the grave and decay of the body, so don't think you are unusual. Doing this however is not the way to recover from her death. What you should do is recall all the good times you shared together as children. Remember her that way and try not to speculate what her body looked like after the accident or what is happening to her mortal remains. Focus on the happy times and try to forget the unhappy times in her life.

Her death has made you feel mortal but thinking about our own mortality is not helpful either. It comes to us all, so try not to worry about something the future.

You mention that you are 'trying to study things and jam so much information into my mind'. Perhaps you could tell us what it is you are studying, but doing it this way can also create confusion so rather than jam everything in at once 'sip it' in slowly.

You ask how do you get through and past this. Well everyone is different and the only sure thing we know is that time is a good healer, and the other thing that really helps is to talk about her to family and friends. Some of us have a faith so we talk to the also as we believe they can hear us. If you cannot talk to anyone then do it here we will listen and offer you support. Everyone will want to help you so dont be afraid to share.

May God bless you
Tom
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old September 16th, 2013, 16:54
Kira Kira is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2
Default

thanks for replying. Actually I am a Christian and that is part of why I'm so messed up lately. I have been having doubts and fighting with them. I have yet to experience God in my life and then this happened to my sister. I have studied Christianity and it logically seems to be the right course, yet I want to experience God. I have prayed for dreams and to know my sister was ok now and nothing has happened. It is quite disappointing and disparaging. I still believe but I am shaken. I am talking to an older gentleman at my church about this and it has helped minorly. Hopefully next week when we talk again it will be better.
I have been studying death actually and near death experiences and the supernatural and natural decay and so much more. I keep trying to find answers which just seems to give me more questions. I feel that if my sister truly exists somewhere outside her body she would definitely try to contact us if she could and I've seen nothing.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old September 18th, 2013, 12:15
tom-fisherman tom-fisherman is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Northwest England
Posts: 534
Default

Shalom in Yeshua Kira, and thanks for your comments. Having a faith does make the death of our loved ones a little easier to deal with because those who do believe, believe that death is not the end.

The Holy Scriptures tell us that when we 'go home' we go into Sheol. It is mentioned in many places in the bible. I wrote an article on this forum some time ago explaining it in more detail. Perhaps you would like to follow this link to it.

http://www.thelightbeyond.com/forum/...ead.php?t=1421

What we are taught is that our loved ones can hear us while they are in Sheol but they are not allowed to speak to us, and we are not allowed to try and contact them. They can come to us in dreams but that is all.

Please keep seeking and you will find HIM. I did this many years ago when I took the sermon on the mount literally. I will be happy to chat via private messages if you want to ask me anything more on this.

May God bless you
Tom+
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old September 28th, 2013, 09:02
ChrisH26 ChrisH26 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 4
Default

I am sorry to hear that you have lost a sibling mine are dear to me and so I can see how you feel but in the bible at revelation 21:3,4 it brings out we soon wont ever have to deal with death it won't even be remembered
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:04.


Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at www.thelightbeyond.com