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  #1  
Old May 4th, 2015, 18:30
babygirl babygirl is offline
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Default Goodbye Dad

I just recently loss my dad. It was very sudden. He went out for coffee, chatted with the neighbors a bit before coming home and sitting on his favorite chair. He then calmly asked my mom for some water. When she returned, dad was gone. Just like that. I'm 33 years old but dad never called me anything other than babygirl. I rushed home hoping this was all some mistake, but in the back of my mind I knew. I watched my dad's lifeless body in complete shock. The strong man that could bounce back from anything, could no longer. I stayed strong enough to give my father a well deserved send off, but the day I came home from his funeral a different person. Not the women who loved to laugh, travel and spend time with my family. I completely shut down. My dad was gone and so was a part of me. Suddenly images of his last moments, being carried away, his funeral flooded my brain. I couldn't move. I literally locked myself in my own little world. Weary, losing weight unrecognizable when I looked in the mirror. I live my life the way he would of wanted me to. Well atleast I try to be strong. But at times the grief is so painful. It's so unreal. Especially when I dream of him and everything is alright. Then I awake to realize the nightmare of him being gone. I really don't have many people to talk to. Truth be told, many don't want to hear about it. So there it stays bottled up in my heart. It's painful. I welcome anyone who would like to share their stories with me. It's good to have support. Thank you.
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  #2  
Old May 4th, 2015, 19:51
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi babygirl i am so sorry for your grief and the pain you are experiencing with the parting of your beloved dad may he be resting in eternal peace I can empathise with all you are going through the shock and pain seems unbearable and when you awake in the morning just for that split second it seems like a nightmare and it's just some bad dream and then the reality kicks in and we know the unthinkable has really happened. I want to assure you this intense pain does lessen as time passes we get to a stage in our grief when we accept our loss and hold on in gratitude that we had them with us for part of our lives and treasure all the memories we are lucky enough to have .Your dad will always be your dad however far apart we may be from them that bond of love unites us for eternity like you still feel his love on earth he still feels yours in heaven.Because he loves you so much what he wishes more than anything for you is to fullfill your life and be happy.I know at the moment your grief is new and you need time to go through all your stages of grief before you can accept this happiness again but when you do and life gets good again you will be honouring your dads memory by being the best you can .Sending love and hugs to you love hazel
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  #3  
Old May 4th, 2015, 21:49
babygirl babygirl is offline
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Default honored

I can't thank you enough for reaching out to me. Everything you said you hit the nail on the head. The amount of support you've given me, is unimaginable. I can have peace tonight knowing there will always be a connection between my dad and I. Thanks for caring. Its so hard and I feel so alone, but through that message I feel that someone out there cares😓
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  #4  
Old May 5th, 2015, 17:03
hazelharris hazelharris is offline
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hi babygirl thankyou your reply touched me i do feel your pain because i have been through so much grief myself in the past when we have come through the awful intense grief what it leaves us with is so much more compassion for others who are suffering it intensifies our emotions in a way it's another gift from our loved ones in heaven we care more because of them. I will always be here for you on this thread or by p/message as long as you need a friend never feel alone because your not I hope you have had time on here to read the many threads on grief recovery especially by our friend who posts as cal 821 they are insperational and will give you comfort to know all the mixed emotions you are now feeling are normal in your grief and an acceptance in your loss will gradually come to you which will enable you to be happy again .Remember always your dads love is with you it will give you strength and peace love hazel x
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  #5  
Old June 2nd, 2015, 03:22
annabelly annabelly is offline
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Hi babygirl
first I want to say im sorry for the loss of your wonderful dad, I too have lost my dad only 5 months ago....and my god the pain is intense!
im 28years old and was his youngest baby, I have started blocking everything out, I have realised who are my friends and who isn't.
I have a husband and 2 children but still manage to feel lonely and lost!
I cant think of my dad as if I do I see him poorly & I relive the last 48 hours with him in hospital.
I havent lost anyone so for my dad to pass away is kist uttely breathtaking! :'-(

I have been to a medium and I can honestly say our dads will and are with us hun!!
iv had stuff happen in the house, I must sound bloody crackers!
I live with the guilt of not seeing him at the chapel of rest, I could only go in amd hold his coffin which felt ice cold which stays in my head..but I wish I saw him I just wasnt strong enough on the day and now I regret it so very much.
If you ever need to chat or anything I'd love to talk, as would really help me too.
I send hugs and love

anna x
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