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  #1  
Old September 25th, 2007, 22:57
Calypso Calypso is offline
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Default "Grandma went to sleep..."

When talking to your children about death, try to avoid any phrases that equate sleep and death. This includes things that might be soothing for adults to hear such as, "She just went to sleep and didn't wake up." One of my friends told her daughter that, and her daughter was scared to fall asleep for weeks thinking that one day she might not wake up either.

The best way to explain death is to say that a person's body was so badly hurt or sick or so old that it completely stopped working. Reassure your child that most illnesses or injuries do not result in death.

Death is a hard subject to discuss with a child of any age, but giving honest, clear, age-appropriate information can take some of the fear away.
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  #2  
Old September 27th, 2007, 12:26
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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This is good advice. It is sometimes so sad to explain about death to kids because we are afraid that they will be too heartbroken and we hate to see our kids so devestated. We try to soften the blow. But kids need to greive the same as anyone else, so it's best to be honest with them and let them get through it. It is how we teach our kids strength.
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  #3  
Old September 27th, 2007, 17:23
echos echos is offline
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I agree it is so diffcult to talk with childern about death. Very good advice, my heart goes out to anyone who is dealing with childern and death.
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  #4  
Old September 28th, 2007, 09:10
Taggart Taggart is offline
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I know of a couple of friend's children who at some points were afraid to go to sleep because they thought they'd die.

I wonder if this was a result of that description of death, or if it's a symptom of something else?
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  #5  
Old October 15th, 2007, 00:18
Priscilla Priscilla is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taggart View Post
I know of a couple of friend's children who at some points were afraid to go to sleep because they thought they'd die.

I wonder if this was a result of that description of death, or if it's a symptom of something else?
My kids all went through an insomnia stage where they were experiencing irrational fears. It's not because I told them that someone went to sleep and didn't wake up. I think they were just at a stage where there hormones were acting up and they started reading less sugary stories. They often worried that they were going to die or were having issues with their faith. I think this is something that parents of kids with strong imaginations just have to go through.
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  #6  
Old November 11th, 2007, 17:32
Sunnycharacter Sunnycharacter is offline
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I remember when my grandpa died, I was just about 7 years old. I didn't really understand, and I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. My folks thought I was too young, but it would really have put some closure on the event for me. We were so close. I'll never understand why they did that.
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  #7  
Old November 11th, 2007, 18:16
tater03 tater03 is offline
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Thank you so much for that advice. I have two young sons and I might have just said something like that never thinking of the repercussions. We have been lucky in the sense that they have not expierenced a death in the close family as of yet. I alway wonder how I am going to approach it with them when it does happen.
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  #8  
Old January 16th, 2008, 12:05
sacback sacback is offline
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I agree with you, kinds are very very literal. So when you say things they take it for what it is. Some things you can't butter up in hopes of making them understand. I think just out right explaining to them what death is will make the situation so much better and a lot less confusing.
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  #9  
Old March 31st, 2008, 12:20
skatss skatss is offline
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Very good advice. I think you shouldn't hide death from children but to be honest with them. I can see where a child would be afraid to go to sleep if they think that when grandma went to sleep she died. If explained properly a child wouldn't be afraid and would understand that death is nothing to fear.
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  #10  
Old April 1st, 2008, 11:25
brokenheartedmama brokenheartedmama is offline
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Default A 6 year old's life was torn apart

I lost my son who was 24 years old on 3-27-06. He was the father of 3 beautifull little boys. They are now 6, 3, and 2. The oldest is the only one who has reak memories of his dad (I think). The 3 year old talks alot about him. I'm not sure if he remembers or just hears us talk about him so much.

14 months after my son passed away, their mother decided she didn't have a life and gave up the children. She traded her children for a new boyfriend who is twice her age and never had children. Doesn't want any now either. We now have custody of them. Talking to a 6 year old child about the death of his dad is the hardest thing in the world. His questions are very simple. The answers are hard to come by. Then to try and explain his mother's actions.....I had him in counselling for a month when he first came to live with us. They said he understands as much about death as any other 6 year old and they left it at that. Daily I try to answer his questions. Unless you have ever been in the place I am know, you cannot imagine how hard this really is. Brokenheartedmama
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