My Condolences Jimmyg
My sincere condolences ... 45years is a life time together I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I was only with my wife 12 years... Jimmyg your doing the right things by reaching out and staying connected.. The first year here I wont lie is going to be really #$%^%! believe me.. its all about survival now. Try to remember you were left behind because you are the strong one.. Your dear wife knew this and that was why it was okay for her to go on without you.. please take it one day at a time.. Cry, write, scream, yell, get pissed off .. its all cathartic.. worst thing you can do for the pain is bottle it up or ignore it.. your going to have to go with it.. its part of the process of separating physically.. no way around it or magic words or pill to make it go away...
I know the memories of a life time together cause waves of pain right now for you but in a while those memories will be a treasure and blessing even though it doesn't feel like it right now..
again my sincere condolences on your wife's passing.. your heading in the right direction Jimmyg by coming here.. this is a place of kindred spirits who also share in loss.. Speaking, reading about other people who have suffered and endured through this process gives a different perspective than others who have not been there where you are now..
I wish you peace for your shattered heart.
Hang in there Jimmyg keep writing .... keep talking.. I know right now everything is still fresh but in time you will find your lifelines and it will help slow the tail spin you feel you are in right now.
Dave (AKA CAL821 )
Memory can only tell us what we were,
in the company of those we loved;
it cannot help us find what each of us, alone, must now become.
Yet no person is really alone;
those who live no more echo still within our thoughts and words,
and what they did has become woven into what we are.
I wish you peace and a level path on your journey...