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MHJ January 5th, 2008 13:50

Do people commonly manifest feelings of resentment after they suffer a loss? Or is this an uncommon trait?

Jewel January 5th, 2008 16:56

I think that feelings of resentment are very common after somebody experiences the loss of somebody close to them. I don't think it's out of the ordinary or anything to have these feelings.

Ricardo February 19th, 2008 13:28

Do you mean as in resentment of others in similar situations who haven't experienced similar losses?

I think I may have seen that happen when a senior loses their spouse.

jadebear March 13th, 2008 09:50

I logged on today to start a thread about resentment,but since this one is already here,i'll post here(hope that's ok)....
My Dad will be gone 4 weeks tomorrow and for the past couple of days i have been feeling so much resentment(and anger) towards everyone for everything.I feel resentful towards the people that didn't go to the funeral or send me a sympathy card,towards the people who didn't say anything to me at the time(like co-workers,friends,etc.),towards my brothers and sisters cause "maybe" they were a little closer to my Dad than i was or because they weren't as close,towards the people that change the subject when i mention my Dad,towards my husband because he is grieving for his own father and i feel like he's not there for me and caught up in his own grief,towards my mother because maybe she's handling this better than us kids,towards my Dads doctor,i just feel so angry and resentful towards the whole world and even life itself......and yesterday i scared myself because i felt a little resentment towards my Dad for dying...I don't like feeling this way,i just want to scream at the top of my lungs....although i know it won't help anything ot change the situation,so why do i feel like this?

Rachele March 13th, 2008 18:35

I too have felt alot of anger with reguard to mom's passing 7 momths ago. I started out like you towards people who my mom worked with and new very well not showing up to her wake or funeral. A few people I knew who did not send a card and even a priest who ignored me plea for help. The biggest anger has been at the doctors who quite obviously failed to diagnose and treat her resulting in her death. Most recently, I am so angry at a women my mother knew taking advantage of my father's vulnerable state and dating him. Even going through my mom's belongings. My anger runs pretty deep. I try to get it out in ways that are appropriate and not let it totally consume me but yes it is very upsetting. I do think it is normal to have feelings of anger and resentment following the passing of a loved onel, at people who are just clueless or insensitive. Try to stick with the people who are understanding and supportive.

mariatheresa March 22nd, 2008 12:31

When my best friend passed suddenly a few years ago, I wasn't angry or resentful. I was a little angry at myself that I didn't spend more time with her or tell her more how good of a friend she was. But then after about a year, I found out something that she had never told me. I felt really hurt that she would keep something like that from me and I admit that I was a little angry. But now it's not even a thought and I harbor absolutely no feelings like that.

I think that anger is normale during greaving, and like someone esle said, surround yourself with supportive people.

Jewel March 24th, 2008 01:51


Originally Posted by mariatheresa (Post 2631)
I think that anger is normale during greaving, and like someone esle said, surround yourself with supportive people.

I definitely agree with you. I don't think it's necessarily strange that something like that would happen. I completely understand somebody feeling resentful in many situations after a death occurs.

Nicola March 29th, 2008 07:34

The only feeling of resentment i felt when my dad died was of myself, i felt i could have done more for him, visited alot more. And to so called " God "... what kind of god would let a brilliant man like my dad suffer?

I couldnt feel resentment for the medical staff, they did what they could for him and the care he received towards the end from the nurses in the hospital was faultless.

But yeah, i would agree, resentment is normal x

skatss March 30th, 2008 14:27

I feel a lot of resentment. I get angry at my parents for dying so early, I get angry at people around me when I see that their lives seem so wonderful and carefree, I resent my cousins for dying, I resent my sister's cancer because she is dying and will be leaving me alone.

Sometimes I think I'm selfish for these feelings, I think I'm a horrible person to be so angry with people who have died and people who are alive. I feel like just screaming sometimes because of all the emotions.

It's all so hard to cope with.

jadebear April 3rd, 2008 10:20

Just to let everyone know,i no longer feel so angry and resentful,i think maybe it was just a "phase" i was going through for a bit.

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