The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums

The Light Beyond Bereavement Forums (
-   Widowed later in life (
-   -   4 months (

jimmyg May 16th, 2018 13:04

4 months
its four months since i lost my wife she was also my best friend and i cannot explain the pain i feel. we were married for 45 years and i miss her so much i cry everyday in private and feel i am just existing i have friends and family who are supportive but it does not help the way i wife was more or less housebound for the last 5 years of her life and i looked after her. i never looked on it as a chore but a privilege and miss her so much it hurts

cal821 May 17th, 2018 14:13

My Condolences Jimmyg
My sincere condolences ... 45years is a life time together I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I was only with my wife 12 years... Jimmyg your doing the right things by reaching out and staying connected.. The first year here I wont lie is going to be really #$%^%! believe me.. its all about survival now. Try to remember you were left behind because you are the strong one.. Your dear wife knew this and that was why it was okay for her to go on without you.. please take it one day at a time.. Cry, write, scream, yell, get pissed off .. its all cathartic.. worst thing you can do for the pain is bottle it up or ignore it.. your going to have to go with it.. its part of the process of separating physically.. no way around it or magic words or pill to make it go away...

I know the memories of a life time together cause waves of pain right now for you but in a while those memories will be a treasure and blessing even though it doesn't feel like it right now..

again my sincere condolences on your wife's passing.. your heading in the right direction Jimmyg by coming here.. this is a place of kindred spirits who also share in loss.. Speaking, reading about other people who have suffered and endured through this process gives a different perspective than others who have not been there where you are now..

I wish you peace for your shattered heart.

Hang in there Jimmyg keep writing .... keep talking.. I know right now everything is still fresh but in time you will find your lifelines and it will help slow the tail spin you feel you are in right now.

Dave (AKA CAL821 )

jimmyg May 20th, 2018 12:02

thanks cal.i was out last night with my friends at our local club and felt not to bad as my friends do not mention my wife unless i do they just say are you ok jim which is good and we get on with our sorting the world and our football team out. it is when you come home when you feel the pain i have a son and granddaughter who are a good help to me and my dog who follows me round the house, i think the worst feeling is knowing i will never see her again which tears me apart.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 13:14.

Copyright 2017 The Light Beyond. Visit the main site at