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cal821 October 26th, 2012 11:57

" Now Choose Life"
For those of you who are stuck... and not wanting to move on...

“I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now CHOOSE LIFE so you and your children may live and you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life.” Deut.30:19-20

On Sunday July 20th 2008, my life, as I knew it, changed forever. I wasted alot of my time with wanting to know WHY my 38 year old wife and Mother of my children was taken from me. I am not sure any answer from God would have be sufficient for me anyway.I was consumed with looking for answers... The search and following journey of discovery which helped create my character and given definition to who I am. But I kept moving forward...when I was stuck I held fast... and waited for the current of life to start me moving again..

4 years ago I lived through the darkest days of my life. When Tammy was taken from us I wasn’t sure how I would even begin to breathe again let alone begin to heal. Little did I know, that God was preparing me for an amazing journey of healing and hope. Healing became a deliberate choice.

It has taken all of these years to realize that Tammy was never ours to begin with. We were blessed to have borrowed her for those short years. Not that our grief has past, as I suppose it never will completely, but we have the promise that the God who blessed the bright days of our past is still longing to be the author of our future.

My identity changed in a blink of an eye. I was no longer married; I was no longer someone’s husband and the secure identity I had owned for 8 years, was no longer mine to claim. A new identity defined me. I became a single parent; a widower. I was left with an identity that was awkward and uncomfortable, yet as I began to meet the challenges of “chapter two”, I began to realize that living was indeed about choice—-choosing life.

It was not an easy choice to make. There were many days that I would have rather chosen to be “stuck” in my misfortune – it would have been easier. This new life was not the plan I had for my life and though my plans were forever altered, I knew God’s plan remained intact. The reality was that God was big enough to see me through raising three girls, and paying the mortgage on time, helping get through all the numerous little steps day by day.

I couldn’t change my life history. I couldn’t change my life circumstances, but I did chose how the story would continue. I chose the life mentioned in Deuteronomy 30. Since that fateful day, God has blessed me along this journey. He has given me second love and a wonderful woman who has also walked the journey of grief, and great loss.

The choices we make now, how we choose to live directly impacts those around us—especially our children. I still choose to lead by example – I want my children and step-children to know that God really is enough. I want them to know that “stuff” matters little compared to relationships, friendships and love. I want them to know that in the midst of it all—tragedy does not define you—how you choose to live does. Now choose life…

Thank you for reading my post..

As always I wish you peace and a level path on your journey..


hazelharris October 26th, 2012 14:00

dave you are an inspiration to us and i am sure to your family as you say CHOSE LIFE and i know the meaning too well of your message to us all as for a while it feels like we are just exsisting and not living
it takes time to learn how to do this as it's a life we didn't chose it's all alien not to have our beloved partners with us the whole world seems a different place as we just go through the motions of the day
i have only just come to the realisation that i am wasting the time my love fought hard for and i disrespect him in squandering my days as i put off doing anything saying i will do something another day
we can't expect to be as happy as we were before for some time but at least we can try to find a way not to be swallowed in grief all the while and never see the sun shine again or smile or laugh we must look for ways to find some happiness we all know how good life can be we have our memories to remind us of that perhaps with time we will all find a way
love to you hazelxxx

gumek October 26th, 2012 16:18

choose life
Dave thank you for this will it be ok to stop here for a while and share with you some of my ongoing joirney? When that man who.meant evetything to me was called home , please accept my apology if I am repeating myself, I thought that I just wouldn't survive without him,he was strong, protective, wise ,gentle kind and loving,he made me laugh and was always there. He loved to bless others and we loved to have friends round for a feasts, he was a warm and passionate man andd he loved and was loved but he had completed all.that was given to him to do on the earth. Yes we are all on loan to eachother. I was standing on the upstairs landing and I found myself saying to God, giuls has gone, he's gone Lord and its taken almost one year but I have at last been able to say those words. I have been wondering what my future holds, have to make a new life and at almost 60years of age I feel I couldn't have another marraige partner and so will be alone till my call comes. This sounds so sad I know, but I've started toinvite friends over to feasts again the first time wss sad and painful but I did it and am planning to continue where guils left off, got to live my life and have joy on the journey. Thanks for listening. Chrissie. Xx

tom-fisherman October 27th, 2012 07:01

Shalom in Yeshua Dave, and well said !!

May God bless you always

cal821 May 20th, 2014 07:47

bump to the top for re-post

Jodilynne June 17th, 2014 16:15

Thank you for re sharing this post. I just lost my partner really husband a little if two weeks ago. Today was a hard day. The sun is shining, it's a warm day out there and I just am having a hard time. This post did give me a moment of hope. I just have to feel my feelings and ride the wave. Bill was sick for exactly 9 months yet my mind goes to this time last year when he was so filled with life. My head thinks he just died instead of focusing on the last few weeks of him being bed ridden and me caring for him. This sight has helped a bit. I will be attending a young widows group tomorrow night also. Thanks for sharing even though this post is old it helps

Jodilynne June 17th, 2014 16:16

Never mind about post being old :)

hazelharris April 5th, 2017 15:34

re posted x

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