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talahaselassie
October 10th, 2011, 10:34
I don't know where else to turn. My loss is not so new. My husband died June 15, 200 at that time we had a 1 year old daughter and I was pregnant with our second daughter. Since then I have moved on and gotten remarried. My daughters do not know that their "father" is not their father, but they are beginning to figure it out. I am terrified and not sure how to go about telling them about what happened. Our oldest daughter is very smart and she knows something is different and she can't understand why I get so upset when she goes somewhere with school if I cannot get ahold of her. Their father died in a bad car accident and I did not find out till two days later. I am so afraid when she is not with me how do I let go and believe everything is in God's hands and he will keep her safe when I am not around. How do I let her grow up?

tom-fisherman
October 10th, 2011, 14:23
Shalom in Yeshua talahaselassie, It is not an unusual predicament you have found yourself in, and one that can be sorted with the help of you husband.

May I suggest that you and your husband have a chat on how to tell your daughters about their dad. Then sit them down and tell them. Re-assure them that they are loved by you, their step dad, and their real dad. Tell them how special they are in having all this love from three parents. You must do this as they may find out from some other family member by accident and then you will find it difficult to deal with.

You can tell them how their dad died in a car accident and explain why you are so protective of your daughters when they are not with you. They will understand that you want to protect them and then you must give them a little freedom and trust in God. You cannot wrap them in cotton wool. If you try you will only succeed in alienating them.

Please let us know how you get on.
May God bless you
Tom

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